Dead Heart
by MysticFalls Fanfiction
Summary: As Damon mourns the loss of his fiance, Elena, he struggles with his past demon: addiction. His addiction haunts him as he copes in a way that concerns his family and friends. Death isn't something he handles well. However, when Damon discovers something he didn't know about his beloved Elena he begins to question life. Finding he can alter fate, will his risk it?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Here is a first full chapter of my NEW story, ****_Dead Heart_****. The regular postings will come this fall. You will only be able to find this story on here. I will no longer be posting any of my stories on Tumblr once "Fifty Shades Bloodier" & "Black Out" are complete. ****_Dead Heart_**** is already in the progress of being written. You can read the plot above ^. Make sure to check out my YouTube channel for more trailers. I currently have one trailer up for this story. Also, make sure to follow me on Twitter at mystfallsfanfic to find up to date information on this story. Enjoy! and leave me a review.**

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CHAPTER 1.

A million voices were blending together the same phrase. "I'm so sorry." It was all the same. Minor adjustments to the statement came and went, but in the end they all meant the same thing. The empathy and apologies could not change what had happened though. Nothing could mend the broken heart and lost he felt, nothing.

The clock struck five o'clock and it was finally time to depart from the sad faces, red swollen eyes, and stuffy air of being stuck in a small cramped room. Unknotting his tie, he let the constriction of presentation loosen. He undid the top button of his white-collar shirt and disposed of his black jacket never to be worn again. In fact, he wanted to burn all of his clothes. It only reminded him of the awful memories of today.

Getting into his car, he drove. He drove until he reached the limits of Mystic Falls and found a off beaten joint with a flashing liquor sign out front. Parking the car, he ran his hand over his face and inhaled a giant breath through his nose. He released it with a long exhale out of his mouth and he swung the car door open. Immediately, he was met with the stale smell of spilled beer, cigarettes, and sweat. Only one person occupied the bar and they were behind it. With a towel in hand wiping up the counters, the middle-aged woman straightened up and stared at him.

"Keep going straight, take a left and you'll find the deep heart of town." She called out.

"Excuse me?" He asked caught off guard by her statement.

"Everyone who comes in here asks the same damn thing." She placed her hand on her hip. " I'm just saving my breath by giving you the answer before you ask."

The place was deserted. Not a single soul was here, but the woman behind the bar. He wondered how much traffic this place got and he assumed it wasn't much judging by what he had just heard.

"I'm not looking for directions." He replied. "I just came for a drink...maybe many."

"Boy, no offense, but your kind don't come here. I suggest you keep on moving." The woman shook her head and threw the towel down. "I'm planning on closing up anyways."

He was being turned down. A bar that looked like it hadn't seen a customer in days, maybe weeks was turning down its first potential customer. He should have turned on his heel and left. He should have gone to another bar, but instead he pulled out his wallet and slapped a hundred dollar bill on the counter. Amazed and stunned, the woman glared at the large bill. He hunched himself over and stared at her waiting for her to speak.

"I guess I can stay open a little while longer." She murmured. "What will it be?"

"Whiskey, the best you got and I want the whole bottle." He insisted.

Side glancing his way, she was hesitant to his request. He knew what he was doing and he knew how stupid his choice would be, but he did not care. Not a fuck was given at the moment and he reached back into his wallet and pulled out another hundred-dollar bill. The woman's eyes widened and turned her back. Stepping up on to a small ladder, she pulled down a bottle of whiskey from the top shelf and handed it to him.

"Glass?" She asked. Her hand snatched the money.

"Please and ice." He took a seat and continued his hunched posture. Tired of seeming business like, he rolled up his sleeves and disposed of his tie on the bar. "Keep the liquor coming. Don't cut me off and I'll keep the cash flow coming. Deal?"

"Deal."

With a glass filled to the brim with ice and whiskey, he downed his first drink like a champ. Drinking in his state of mind was probably not the best, however, it was his only coping mechanism he had. Alcohol could take the pain away for a while, for the night. But then he would wake up again knowing how bad his life had become and the void in his heart would still be there. Actually, alcohol was only going to make the pain worse, but he was already one drink in and he couldn't stop now. Whiskey was his weakness and tonight he had caved and succumbed to drinking in a dirty, run down bar on the outskirts of town.

"So what brings you here?" The woman bartender appeared before him. Her lips were puckered and she clearly had made sure to present herself to a higher standard seeing as he was a customer. "Sorry about earlier, I just don't get folk like you coming to my bar."

"Well my folk don't come here for a reason, but tonight I was feeling adventurous. No offense." He smirked and poured himself another drink.

She nodded her head. "Adventurous? Hmmm...Sounds more like you're running from something. Drowning yourself in God's finest of remedies." Her tone was curious.

"I gave you my damn money already." He barked. "I'll give you another fifty to leave me alone and drink in peace."

The woman straightened up and eyed him. He reached back into his wallet and smacked a fifty-dollar bill down. She willingly took it and stuffed it into her bra and walked away. Thankfully, buying off noisy bartenders and wanting something that didn't taste like bathroom swill wasn't a problem. He was loaded at least thanks to his trust fund. He could control any situation with the hint of green and usually it worked. Tonight he came prepared. All I he wanted was to keep the drinks flowing and let him drift into a drunken state so he could fall asleep without crying. He didn't want a middle-aged woman trying to get his life story and hitting on him from behind the bar. All he wanted was to be alone.

Alone. It was all he wanted right now, but when the sun would rise tomorrow he would be completely alone. The left side of his bed would be empty and his apartment would be silent. Haunting reminders still lingered and the thought it made him not want to go back to it. It held too many happy memories, ones he wished he could make more of, but that wasn't the case. Feeling his eyes sting, he gulped down another glass of whiskey and poured one more. He had to numb the pain. He had to try forget. He had to learn to live a different life. But he didn't want any of that. He was telling himself he wanted it, but in reality he was so invested still it was tearing him up inside. There was no escaping what he had been through and what he was feeling...but at least he could try.

An hour later and one bottle down, the sound of the door to the bar jingled. He didn't bother to look over his shoulder because he didn't care what unfortunate soul came through that door at this hour. Whoever it was welcome to join him as long as he didn't say a word in return. There were plenty of people who drank in silence; he hoped the fellow coming in would do the same.

"Keep going straight, take a left, and you will find the deep heart of town." The woman called out much like she had to him.

"I'm good." The voice called out. He froze and tensed at the sound of the voice. "Not looking for directions, but someone and I think I might have just found him."

"Fuck me." He slurred as he took the bottle and pressed it to his lips not bothering to use the glass.

A body that belonged to the voice took a seat next to him and the bartender approached. She stopped for a minute and observed the situation.

"You staying? Or are you taking his drunk ass home?" She asked pointing toward him, the drunken ass.

"Both." The man replied. "A beer will do for now."

With a few quick motions, a beer was placed on the bar for the exchange of money. The woman stifled a laugh, as his money was not of comparison to what he had been laying down all night. His generous tips were surely more than this bar ever made in a week.

"Thought I find you here." The man spoke directly toward him. "Looked at every bar in town and then I remember this one."

"Congratulations Nancy Drew." He spat.

A hand was on his shoulder. "Come on, Damon. You're better than this. She wouldn't have wanted this." The man, who was his brother said with concern. He peered over at him almost dressed the same, but still in tact. His black coat was on and his tie was still tied. The same smug look was still smeared across his face.

"What _she _would have wanted doesn't matter, does it?" Damon snapped at his brother. "It doesn't matter what _she _wants anymore."

"That's not true..." He tried to reason.

"But it is Stefan!" His tone of voice rose. "She's gone and she's never coming back."

The stinging of his eyes returned and he used the bottle of whiskey to distract him from losing it. His brother's arrival and what seemed like rescue was not needed. He didn't want to talk about this, didn't anyone understand? He just wanted to be alone.

"I think you've had enough tonight. Lets get you home..." Stefan moved the bottle out of reach and placed his hands in his shoulders.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" Damon yelled.

The woman peeked around the corner of the back to see what the commotion was about. He pushed his brothers hands away and shook his shoulders. He ran his hand through his hair and leaned against the bar. Things were definitely moving while he wasn't. His vision was impaired and he knew his speech was slurred, but that didn't stop him from thinking he was fine.

"Damon," he said with aggression.

"I'm fine." Damon assured him.

"You're not fine. You just lost..." Stefan was beginning his rant again, but he had to stop him. He couldn't let him finish that sentence.

"Stop!" He held up his hand. "Don't you dare fucking say it. I can't hear it. I don't want to."

The deep concern in his brother's eyes almost made him feel sorry for his outbursts and actions, but then he remembered tonight the didn't care. The alcohol was flowing through his blood stream a lot faster as he stood up and he swayed.

"Okay," Stefan helped him from a falling. "Time to go."

"I'm not done here. Piss off." He slurred and spat. Trying to reach for the bottle, the woman quickly ran over and snatched it away from him. "Fucking bitch, I said to keep it coming. I want my damn money back."

"Damon lets go." Stefan ordered.

"Why so I can go back to my fucking apartment that I shared with my fucking dead fiancé?!" Damon whaled. The moment he spoke in hysteria he knew what he had said. Not wanting to admit to it, not wanting to say any word on the topic that started with a "D" made the pain come rushing back.

It felt like his world was crashing down around him. The bar was dancing in circles and the bitter taste of whiskey made him nausea. The painful memories of her made him want to curl up into a ball and waste away. There wasn't a point to any of this, no point at all. She was gone. She was dead.

At that moment if things couldn't have gone worse, music began to echo from the jukebox. He turned his head over to see the woman who owned the place walking away. Assuming she wanted to drain the sound of his drunken madness away, she had put music on and the one song she so happened to choose was hersong. Damon sighed and felt his heart shrivel into a prune.

"Heat Of The Moment" by Asia came blaring over the speakers. The sound of the lead singers vocals hit him like a train. He closed his eyes in pain remembering how much she loved the song. The way she got excited when she heard it on the radio or at the bar, it made him smile. It would live forever in his memory as the song that belonged to her; the song that was playing as they met for the first time.

"Fuck, we need to leave." Stefan mumbled.

Grabbing Damon under his arm, he dragged him out. He looked back at the jukebox as it continued to play the song. Then once he was outside he began to curse. Every swear word known to mankind came out of his mouth. He thrashed in his brother's hold and yelled. He cursed God and everyone he knew because he didn't know whom else to blame. There was no explanation, but one: wrong place, wrong time. He had lost her in a flash.

"Oh god." Damon let out pitiful cry. "She's gone. She's fucking gone, Stefan."

His body tumbled to the ground. Dirt kicked up beneath him and he let his tears moisten the dry Earth below. He felt nothing and everything all at the same time. Overwhelmed by grief and heighten emotions as the alcohol seemed to fail at suppressing them, he went limp. Hands pulled him up and he wobbled helplessly to what was a dark SUV. His arms, legs, and the rest of them sprawled out in the back seat as he rolled on to his back and stared up into the black nothingness. That was the last thing he remembered. Everything went dark from that point on.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The next chapter is here! Sorry for making you guys wait so long for this, but I really wanted to make sure I got Fifty Shades Bloodier wrapped up before I got invested in a new story. Despite FSB not being finished yet, it's getting close so I felt it was okay to start officially posting Dead Heart. Chapter updates will come out on Sundays. Only one update per week. This story is going to be tragic and filled with flashbacks. A twist is coming a long the way, but not quite yet. Please leave me a review with your thoughts and/or predictions. I love reading your feedback. Thanks again for checking out this new story of mine. For more Dead Heart spoilers and info, follow at MystFallsFanfic on Twitter and watch trailers on my YouTube channel. Thanks again.**

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CHAPTER 2.

Who hit him on the head with a brick?

Who slammed his body against the ground?

Why did is heart feel like it was ripped into two?

Damon knew the answers to all those questions, but made note not to answer them. He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to drift back to sleep and forget how stupid and hurt he was. The ease of weightlessness came and the pain subsided for now. A black dreamland filtered through his head. He was at peace. Why couldn't he stay like this forever?

"Wake up," a female voice whispered.

The edges of his lips curled up.

"Come on, Damon." She whined. "We can't lay in bed all day."

"Why not? Lets forget about today and waste it in bed...naked." He heard himself respond.

Her soft, warm laughter in the morning always made him happy. He reached and tried to stroke her hair, but was met with nothing. Damon patted the bed over and over again. "Elena, where did you go?" His voice trailed and he pried his eyes open. Instantly, he was welcomed with disappoint and confusion. It had been a very vivid dream. He hadn't known he was even asleep. It felt so real like she was still in bed with him. What he wouldn't give to have her next to him right now.

Once the reality of excruciating pain settled so did the massive headache. He attempted to rise up, but was only graced with failure. His hangover would be one for the books. This was an ugly reminder of what alcohol was capable of and it made never want to drink again. He knew himself well though. Last night wasn't a one-time deal, he would return to his old habit with the ways things had turned out. A way he had vowed to tuck away forever when he met her, but she was gone and that vow had been torn to pieces.

Last night had resurfaced his addiction, his love for the bottle.

Now he remembered why he had given up on it after all these years with the killer hangover he was endearing. Three years sober and he had broken his stint. Like most addicts he had snapped due to a force that was unforeseen and made him crawl back into his dark days. He never realized how bad he and been until he met her. Why she had put up with him at all still amazed him? Three and half years she had stayed by his side, sober or drunk. It took six months to rid him of his nasty habit and it was all thanks to her. She had made some sort of miracle, an angel sent just for him from heaven.

Thoughts of her only made the pain increase. Physically and emotionally it was all too much too soon. He didn't want to think about her because it only reminded him of what he didn't have anymore.

As Damon tried to open his eyes again, the tiniest bit of light that came through the black drapes made him squint and growl. He reached for the nightstand and the remote that sat on top of it. He knew how to make sure no light would seep through. However, there was no remote on the stand and the stand wasn't square like it usually was. It was round. Now he was forced to open his eyes. What he saw was not his own.

"What the fuck?" Damon uttered. The bed, the nightstand, the drapes, nothing belonged to him. In fact, he wasn't even in his own bedroom or his own penthouse. Where was he and how did he get here? It took a moment to remember the night before and how it ended. Things had become meshed together and blurry. His brother, Stefan had stopped by the bar in attempt to be the hero. The light went off in his head. He must have been at his brother's place.

"Mother fucker." He cursed.

Even though it would have been awful to wake up like this in his own bed without her there, it was worse to wake up where he did. He knew the moment he left the room he would be lectured by his brother. Maybe hiding out all day in this room could save him the trouble and the excessive talk he didn't want to have.

As his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room, he searched for remedies. Just like the many times before when he ended up in his brothers guest room a bottle of water and two aspirins were set out on the nightstand. Damon rolled his eyes knowing his brother had done this more than once. He should have been grateful for a brother who cared and put up with his shit. He should have never ended up in this guest room, but he had. So many should of, could of, yet he fell back into the same routine because that's who he was without her; a failure in life.

Damon hated he blamed his fall outs and poor judgments due to the lack there of his greatest and best influence, but he felt like shit and deserved to feel like it leading him only to dig his hole deeper. When she was around she made everything better. He saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Life had purpose and meaning and laughter and sex.

_Fuck, _he groaned to himself. He was ashamed to think of something so intimate, but he missed her. He missed her in more ways than one. Why did she have to be gone?

"Damon? You up?" Stefan's voice called out from the other side of the door.

Maybe if he didn't answer he would go away. Yeah right if he did. It was his place and either way if he responded or not Stefan was going to barge in. He always did this.

"Good, you are." He said with relief and standing in the threshold.

"I'm up, but I'm not functioning." Damon moaned. He hunched over the side of the bed and popped the two aspirin in his mouth followed by a large swig of water.

"Bet you're regretting last night." Stefan crossed his arms and mocked his hangover.

Damon forced one eye to open wider. "Don't rub it in." He mumbled.

"I called your sponsor." He announced.

An irritated growl escaped him and he rolled his head from side to side. "Fuck Stefan! I'm fine. Why the hell did you do that?" The news of that only made his headache worse.

"Cause you relapsed last night, Damon. It's been three years." His brother responded in a harsh tone. "And don't tell me you won't do it again because I know you will. Elena is dead and you went out after her funeral and got shit faced. That's saying something."

"You know if I didn't feel like absolute horse shit I come over there and beat the living hell out of you for running your God damn mouth." Damon argued loudly. Even the pitch of his voice was making his head throb worse.

"Look, I know it's sensitive. I know this isn't easy." Stefan said.

Damon pounded the bed with his fist and stood up. "Fuck if you do. You don't know what this is like Stefan. No one does, so everyone needs to stop fucking acting like they do." He yelled.

The topic of her was a touchy one. He hated hearing the "D" word and he hated talking about it. He wasn't delusional thinking she was still alive. He knew fully well she was gone. However, he didn't want to believe it. It had only been a week and a half since he last saw, spoke to, and held her. The feeling of losing her was still a fresh wound. With time he would heal, but everything just seemed impossible at the moment. Despite his bad habit and distraught mind, he was a logical man. He just got lost sometimes.

"I'm sorry." Stefan apologized. "I really hope you know I am about all of this. It's just I don't want to lose you too because you end up going off the deep end again."

"You're not going to lose me you morbid fuck." Damon rolled his eyes.

"I just want to be here for you. If you need to talk about it..." He tried again.

Damon stomped his foot. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You will at some point. It helps the grieving process." Stefan told him.

"And where did you read that bullshit. Look, I get that you want to be there for me. I appreciate it even if I don't show it." He spoke in a scratchy voice. "But I really don't want to fucking talk about it. Not now. And I don't need you babysitting me or calling my sponsor."

Stefan seemed to appear as if he was walking on eggshells around him. When he got in a rage there was no messing with him. He hated being babied or looked after. He hated it now and three and half years ago. His sobriety stopped all that though thanks to her.

"Fine, I'll try to respect that." Stefan caved. "But at least meet with your sponsor. I called him and I hate for you to bail on your meeting. I'm sure it will only make things worse if you don't go."

"Yeah I'll go, but I'm not fucking happy about it. I'll have to talk my way out of this one." Damon moaned. "Just cause I let go one night does not make me an alcoholic again."

He watched as his brother opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. Whatever lecture was about to come out of his mouth was tabled. Stefan knew better to further the argument and Damon smirked without letting his brother see.

"You're welcome to crash here whenever you need." He told him. "I know you have a life, a job, an apartment, but if you need to escape my place is your place."

"Thanks." Damon uttered.

"Your sponsor said he meet you in the park just a block away from here at noon." He informed him. The clock read 11:15 a.m.

"Jesus Christ, can't you cut me some slack here after last night?" There was no way he was going to be out of his brother's place by then. He knew he needed to make this meeting, but it just seemed so harsh.

Stefan dropped his hands to his sides. "I'm not the one with a drinking problem." He stated. "Catch you later. I've got work to do."

As Stefan left, he fell back down on to the bed. All he wanted was to escape reality. He wanted to run far off with Elena by his side and never have to worry about a single thing again. But even that ideal dream could never play out. Without her here, living and breathing, everything was pointless. He rubbed his eyes not letting another tear fall from them. He had done enough of that already. If he was going to ever move on from this tragic point, he needed to man up. And so he would have to try.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you so much for all the feedback on this story so far. With only two chapters posted I've almost reached 1k views. TY. A lot of you commented on how sad the story is and it is meant to be a tragedy, but there will be happy moments to come. I hope as this story continues you guys will enjoy it more. Please leave a review. I always appreciate what you guys have to say. Chapter 4 will be updated next Sunday. For quote and chapter spoilers follow my Twitter account at MystFallsFanfic.**

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CHAPTER 3.

Today out of all days it had to be the warmest and sunniest. Damon cringed as he stepped out on to the sidewalk and covered his eyes with his hand. The protection his sunglasses were doing was minimal. Without a change of clothes, Damon found himself back in his black dress slacks and white button shirt. He rolled up the sleeves and left the top two buttons undone. He felt ridiculous wearing it, but he didn't want to bother rummaging through his brother's stuff just to find something to wear. Once his meeting was over he could go home and get out of his formal attire.

The streets weren't busy with the usual morning rush through the town seeing as it was going on noon. It was five till and he knew he needed to hurry up before he got the wrath of his sponsor. He was dreading this meeting.

As he walked toward the park about a block away from his brother's apartment he received some interesting looks. Men running seemed sour while young women pretended not to stare. He knew his appearance was not up to par yet it didn't stop some from enjoying the sight of him. For the longest time he had been a ladies man and he planned to stay that way. He enjoyed the freedom, the chaos, and the promiscuous sex. But then she came along and turned his world completely upside down. No one else mattered, he was devoted to her and only her. Now he wondered what direction he would head in without her guidance.

"Damon Salvatore." A voice from a park bench called out.

He stopped and looked through his tinted shades at the man sitting. He wore a dark green jacket, grey t-shirt, and faded jeans. A goofy smile was plastered on his face and he held out a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Son of a bitch." He groaned and walked over to him.

"Coffee?" He asked offering the cup. "Looks like you could use it."

Indeed, he could. Damon took it silently and sat down on the opposite side of the bench. Still feeling like ass, his sponsor was way too chipper and he knew he was going to slap Stefan for this. Taking a sip of the coffee, he prepared himself for what they were about to discuss as much as it made him pissed off.

"Your brother called." He said.

"Wish he hadn't." Damon responded.

"I'm glad he did." The man turned to face him. "Damon, I haven't seen you like this in ages. No offense, but you look like hell."

"Thanks." He rolled his eyes and sipped the coffee.

"I understand why you relapsed." His voice was calm and low.

Damon shook his head. "Geez, is it that obvious or did you really dig deep to find that out." He was being insensitive, but he didn't care. This was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

"Elena got you clean, remember?" He spoke. His body tensed at the mention of her name. "You vowed to stay clean and yet here you are going against everything you worked for and for what she wanted."

"I don't really think its your damn business what she wanted, Ric." He spat.

"It is my business because I'm your sponsor and I know your history. Don't act like some fucking punk that doesn't give a shit if he wastes his life away drowning his sorrows in alcohol." His voice rose. "That's the old Damon. The new Damon, the one I'm friends with doesn't want that and out of respect for Elena I think you know that."

"Out of respect I ask you to quit saying her name before I pummel you to the ground." Damon barked.

All went quiet. He never threatened his sponsor, Alaric before. He wasn't lying when he claimed to be his friend. Once a full-blown alcoholic himself, he too understood what it was like to struggle with addiction especially this one.

Alaric had been sober eight years. Their introduction had been through her. With Alaric being a long time family friend she saw him as an immediate help to Damon as he promised to break his bad habit and become clean. He never really thanked him for what he did. Damon knew he wanted to start over because she was worth it. He knew he lose her if he didn't and yet he still lost her in the end.

"How have you been holding up?" Alaric asked.

"Well last night I went and blacked out on whiskey and here I am with you. How do you think I'm holding up?" He snapped and finished his coffee.

"You're not the only one in pain, Damon." He said. "We all lost her too. We all miss her. I get that it's harder for you, but don't act like you're the only person in the world that lost someone you loved."

And there was his reasoning. Insightful and deep was all Alaric knew how to speak when it came to tough matters. He was lying if his way with words and persistent attitude to fight him on every topic saved him from his previous dark world. Alaric really was a good friend and an even better sponsor. Damon had been proud to be clean as long as he had been. He never really thought it was possible, but with Alaric and her always encouraging him he had done it. Sometimes he felt awful for how much of ass he was toward him when all he was doing was trying to help.

"Can I just tell you last night was a mistake and I won't ever do it again?" He tried to put his charm on.

"Yeah, no." Alaric laughed.

"Fuck." Damon mumbled.

"You know the drill." He told him. "I'll schedule meetings and..."

Damon let out an aggravated groan. "Please no meetings. I can't deal with sob stories when I'm living in my own. Can't I just meet with you once a week?" He complained.

"It's protocol, Damon." Alaric informed him. "You have to."

He hated those meetings even if they helped and he didn't want to admit to it. But right now the last thing he wanted was to explain to a bunch of nobody's why he relapsed and break down all over again. He couldn't face that.

"As my friend," Damon began and removed his sunglasses. "I'm asking you to please go against protocol and do this. I promise to meet up with you every week, same time, and same place. Honestly, I know I screwed up last night, but I'm screwed up as well. Please Ric."

It was a desperate plea. He wasn't sure if Alaric would give into him or not. Relapsing addicts meant serious business and he was aware if he had done so what he would have to do. However, he never thought he would have reached this point in the first place. He wanted to stay clean, but with her gone he didn't know what else to do. Damon was disgusted that it had been his choice to cope, but that's the problem with addicts, once an addict always an addict whether you're clean or not.

"Fine, but if you screw up one more time I'm putting you back in those meetings and you will seek counseling. And I want to meet with you tomorrow same time and place just to make sure you don't slip up again tonight." He threatened.

"What the fuck? Why counseling?" Damon asked putting his sunglasses back on his face.

"Do I really need an explanation for that one?" Alaric raised his eyebrow. The answer was no. He knew why, but wasn't going to say it out loud.

"Fine." He agreed.

A bicyclist drove past them as Damon took in the fresh air and silence. In his pocket he felt something poke him and he dug his hand in it. His car keys were still residing in there. He was glad Stefan didn't let him drive home, who knows what condition he be in today.

"Please don't tell me you drove home last night." Alaric sounds disappointed.

"No." Damon assured him. "Stefan did, which means I'll need to go get my car."

"Is that a statement or request?" He asked.

"Please Ric." Damon begged with shame.

Shaking his head, Alaric agreed. "Fine."

Next to his brother, Alaric was the second person in his life that put up with his bullshit and antics. Elena did tolerate him even at his worse, but she knew how to keep him in check. After all she had motivated him to get clean and turn his life around. He never imagined falling in love with her while doing it.

And there he went again, thinking of her. The hole in his heart grew and stretched. He was physically in pain from just the thought of her name. Damon hated every bit of it and wished he could make it all go away, but reality would not let that happen. No remedy was powerful enough to cure a broken heart. Only time did that and time could be a bitch.

Slowly trotting to Alaric's car, not a word was exchanged. Even after he buckled himself in, rolled down the window for fresh air, and headed down the main drag silence was all that could be found between them. He didn't mind the lack there of conversation. It had less chances of brining up her, but it was out of the ordinary. They were old friends and nonsense usually flew out of their mouths when they were together. Now, it was mere silence. Maybe he could start something, but then again he knew it would only lead back to one thing. That one thing he was trying to avoid all together.

"I stopped by you know." And there it was. The silence was broken.

"I know." Damon dully replied.

Amongst the many teary eyes and sad faces he saw yesterday, he remembered in the far corner near the exit stood Ric. Both hands were in his pockets as he stared at the closed casket. It had been months since they last conversed. Busy with life and every day things, finding to get together was nearly impossible. However, one thing finally had and yet they never exchanged one word or a mutual glance.

"I tried...I wanted to say something, but there were so many people around you and I just couldn't..." His voice trailed off.

"I get it." Damon said. He saw the horror on his face realizing the truth was she was gone. Funerals weren't easy for everyone and he knew the moment Alaric walked in he wouldn't stay long. In fact, he didn't even want to stay himself, but he had to out of respect and he had no other choice. "Take a right up here. You can't miss it.

Sure enough, the car ventured to the right and the run down bar came into view. He was thankful his lack of judgment and choice of downward spiral was about to begin a new topic. Just thinking of yesterday made his eyes sting.

"Here it is." Damon announced.

His pristine black sports car was still parked outside. He swore if he found a single scratch or ding or even an empty beer can near his beloved car he sue, but he knew he was taking a risk when he picked this dive of a place. It was the only place that would serve him without hesitation, yet he still received some. All the bars in the heart of town knew him well. He had been a regular, a welcomed high paying customer, and a nuisance all in one. People knew he was and that he had been clean for three years so his chances of exploring his options had only resorted to one, this bar.

"Jesus Christ, Damon." Alaric spat as he put the car in park. "You really chose this place?"

"Fuck off. It was the only place that didn't know my name and the liquor was cheap." He snarled.

"Looks like they serve piss in a can here." Alaric replied.

"And don't I recall you drinking so called piss from a can at places like these back in your day?" Damon snickered.

Alaric laughed. "A few times but then I discovered the good stuff which brought along good bars and better looking women." He smiled. Even ashamed of his partying days, he still could crack a joke about it.

"Okay, well before you insult me anymore thanks for the ride and your sponsorship." Damon said with sarcasm.

"Anytime." He pointed at him.

Damon opened the car door and made his way toward his vehicle. Briefly checking for anything out of the ordinary he was pleased to see his car in perfect condition. He shoved his hand in his pocket for his keys and with a slippery grip they fell to the ground. Bending down to pick them up something shiny caught his eye a few feet away. His back went straight and he took a few steps closer to the bar. Fixated he glared at the glittering object on the ground.

"Damon?" He heard Alaric's voice call from behind. What he was doing didn't appear healthy as he moved toward the one thing he was suppose to stay away from. However, it wasn't the bar with the shitty drinks that had him captivated. It was what was on the ground.

He squatted down and stared at it.

"Damon," Alaric called out once more.

Snatching the object up and pocketing it quick, he turned on his heel and waved at him. He noticed the concern on his friend's face. He saw the sorrow he bared as he too was grieving a great loss. Damon unlocked his car quick and got in before another awkward moment and unwanted conversation about her occurred again.

The sound of Alaric's car revved as he reversed and went back out on to the street. If he wasn't close behind he knew he would turn around soon and make sure he didn't wallow back into the place that created his morning damage, but first he needed a moment. Turning on his car, indicating his soon departure he pulled out the object. The edges were rough, but its appearance was stunning. He ran it over his fingers repeatedly gawking at it. The stinging in his eyes had returned. This wasn't going to get easier, at least not for a while. What he held was a ring, her ring. The engagement ring she wore happily and proudly until as of yesterday. A single tear fell down his cheek as he balled his hand around it and put it back in his pocket. It belonged to her and yet he had it. And what saddened him even more was that last night in his drunken state he had forgot the ring was in his pocket. He had almost lost the last part of her he still had could hold on to.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm hoping now that with FSB is complete and I'm holding off on writing the fourth installment for that series until later this fall that more people will start reading this story. Spread the word if you can please. This story is just getting started. This chapter contains the first flashback. Thank you for reading and please review : )**

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CHAPTER 4.

Maybe it was only seconds or a few minutes that passed, but it felt like hours as he sat on the edge of his king size bed with the nightstand drawer open and staring at the ring between his thumb and index finger. He had decided his nightstand was the best place for safe keeping yet he was having a hard time letting it out of his grasp.

The perfect circle of unity surrounded and topped off with diamonds resembled her. He still recalled it catching his eye under the glass that day as he went to find a ring. Nervous, but determined he must have went to three different stores. He even debated that his lack of discovering the perfect engagement ring was a sign he shouldn't be doing this at all, but then there it was. In the middle of other sparkling rings it stood out. He had to have it. It was her ring. The one she would wear as a sign of his love and promise to be there for her always.

Damon snapped himself out of that thought before it furthered. Not being able to fulfill marriage with her hurt too much. Everything hurt, every memory and what if, but that one hurt the most. She would never be his wife, something he wanted so badly. It was the only thing he wanted and now he was neglected of that chance.

Life had come to a complete standstill the moment he found out the terrible news. He was functioning but not well. Depressed, sad, confused, angry, it was he felt 24/7. That's why he chose to wind up at a bar and break his three-year stint of staying clean because he just didn't want to feel any of it.

By now his hangover was diminishing and he wished the rest of the bad would go with it, but it remained. He looked back down at the ring and finally placed it in his nightstand drawer. Closing it, he swore to not reopen it unless needed. He didn't need to mourn over her because on an inanimate object. He was stronger than that even if he felt weak as ever.

Slowly Damon turned his body and he was lying down on his bed. One arm was propped behind him while the other felt the empty space that would go unoccupied. It was strange and eerie. It was like she belonged there, like she would crawl into bed with him at any moment, but that couldn't happen. He was going to have to get use to sleeping alone. He was going to have to get use to doing a lot of things alone. _How fucking depressing, _he thought.

Closing his eyes, he wanted time to hurry up with the healing process. That is if he would ever heal. His exterior would or at least be mended enough so he could face the world and his family and friends without appearing so hurt and lost. But the interior, he was sure it would takes years maybe his whole life to heal the heartbreak he was enduring. A bullet to his chest would hurt less than how he felt right now.

"Damon..." A distant voice called to him in the emptiness of his apartment. He knew it wasn't a real voice, but one that he only heard in his head. The way those two syllables that made up his name rolled off her tongue sounded so right. The different tones his name was said whether she was mad, irritated, amused, or simply happy. He would give anything to hear her say it one last time. All he had was memories now. Memories he was terrified might slip away with time.

He sat up and scanned his bedroom. Her image was everywhere. As he got up and paced over to the frame on the dresser, he froze. Beaming with happiness and a drunken smile on his face, he recalled the photo being taken well. Their cheeks were pressed up next to one another and the alcohol had been flowing that night, at least for him. They seemed so happy and his stomach dropped knowing that happiness had been torn from him. His shaking hand grabbed the frame, as he couldn't take his eyes off her beauty. The photo captured the moment he started falling for her. His hand shook more.

* * *

**_Three and half years earlier..._**

_"Keep the tab open." Damon shouted and winked at the cute blonde behind the bar. She smiled and eagerly took his card. "A round of the best whiskey you got on the rocks!"_

_"Are we taking it easy tonight or are we raging like the true alcoholic you are?" His younger brother Stefan said trying to talk over the noise._

_It was a Thursday night and long week of work. Damon was ready to let loose even though it wouldn't be his first consumption of alcohol for the week, not to mention he had to get up for work in the morning. Many nights after work he found himself downing half a bottle of liquor to ease him to relaxation and sleep. Tonight was different though. His baby brother was in town and we wanted to show him a good time. He meant business and he knew the right concoction to kick it off._

_"Wow Stefan, it took you a whole five fucking minutes before you insulted me." Damon said with sarcasm. "Please enlighten me some more about my alcoholic ways."_

_"Come on Damon," Stefan leaned in toward him. "We all know you have a undying love for the bottle. Don't act so shocked to hear the "A" word when you live up to its description."_

_"Fuck off." He rolled his eyes and took the short glass of whiskey that was being handed to him. "Remind me to never bring you out again."_

_Stefan took the other glass and sipped. "You know I'm only concerned about you." He spoke loudly._

_"Okay Dr. Phil enough lessons in Damon's bad choices. Lets just enjoy tonight and let off some steam." Damon tipped his glass back letting the burning sensation rise in his chest as it passed down his throat. He hit the bar signaling for another. "Let's not forget my baby bro, you are done with grad school. Tonight is a celebration."_

_"Right the reason for all of this." Stefan waved his hand in the air._

_A loud, thudding bass echoed through the nightlife of the bar. Intoxicated people dancing and chatting the night away surrounded him under the dim lights and glowing bottles. Some were even mingling in sexual sorts. It was a bar of high class, but most importantly it was a bar. With his sort of income he knew he could afford a classier atmosphere than the piss hole bars he could save a nickel or dime at. This was his life: booze and beautiful women._

_"My brother tonight you are going to enjoy yourself." Damon slapped him on the back as they faced the crowded dance floor. "Tonight you might even get lucky."_

_"One of us will and it will probably be you." He snickered._

_Damon smirked knowing it was probably true. "Can't deny that, but that doesn't mean you can't either. What about that blonde over there?" He pointed to a tall, curly haired girl. She wore tight jeans and a loose fitting top._

_"Eh," Stefan moaned._

_"What about her?" He suggested as a girl walked pass them. Her eyes caught sight of him and he nodded his head in approval._

_"Looks like she already found who she's interested in." Stefan replied._

_"Fuck, I'm just trying to help." _

_Taking one large gulp of the whiskey Damon bought him, Stefan slammed it down on the bar. "I don't need help. Don't force it. You know I hate that." He reminded him in a snippy tone. "I have to use the bathroom. I'll be back."_

_His head wobbled, as he knew he had upset his brother. In all honesty he just wanted to show him a good time and celebrate his end of grad school. Instead, they were bickering as always. It was like their roles were reversed. Stefan honed the older brother card when he was three years younger than him, while he acted irresponsible on most days besides when he was at work. He had never truly grown up or at least never wanted to. At the age of 27, Damon was successful and well set off financially while he still held on to his younger days of partying and promiscuous sex._

_"Beer." Damon yelled to the blonde bartender._

_It wasn't for him. It was for Stefan. He knew he hated hard liquor and if he was going to make any progress with him he needed to cater to his wants and needs._

_Turning around to face the crazy nightlife, he felt his body collide. A mess of long brown hair hit his chest and thankfully he held his glass up high and out of reach so it didn't spill. "Mother fucker." He mumbled. She was just another drunk chick that couldn't handle her liquor._

_"Sorry," the girl apologized._

_He noticed she was gripping on to a blonde girl who looked worse than her. In fact, as he caught sight of the brunette who ran into him he saw more distress on her face than intoxication. She stumbled as the girl she held on to swayed._

_"Come on let's go." The girl gritted through her teeth as she looped her arm around her back._

_"Noooo," her friend whined._

_It would have been polite to help, but he didn't want to get involved. Drunken girls who were on the verge of passing out or hurling everywhere were where he drew the line. It disgusted him even though he had been that person more than he liked to admit._

_"Come on." She groaned. It seemed her friend didn't want to move._

_Damon tried to slip away from the mess, but was tumbling toward the bar counter as her friend swayed._

_"Get that girl out of here!" Someone yelled as people began to notice. Looking around to see who had said it, he caught glimpse of Stefan heading toward the exit of the bar and not the bathroom._

_"You got to be fucking kidding me." Damon said to himself._

_"I'm really sorry." The girl spoke. She must have assumed his outward thought was meant for her._

_"Card!" Damon yelled at the bartender. She nodded quickly and retrieved his card and receipt. He signed it with a scribble and pocketed his card into his wallet. The girl and her friend had barely moved in an inch. People were beginning to stare. "Here," he offered as slipped to other side of the girl and hung her arm over his shoulder. This time he got them moving._

_"Ohh, I'll gladly leave with him." The drunken girl slurred as her friend struggled to drag her out with him._

_What he was doing was out of the ordinary for him. He didn't help girls out of the bar because they were too drunk. Most of the time he was guiding them and sweet-talking his way into bed with them, not tonight apparently. He told himself it would be his one good deed of the year. This would be filling his quota._

_Once outside, he straightened his back and helped place the girl on a bench. Her head bobbed and she mumbled something incoherent, so much for his night._

_"Thanks." The brunette girl said shaking her head at her friend._

_"Welcome." He replied shortly. Damon looked around and back at the bar. _

_"You know most guys wouldn't have done that." She sighed._

_Damon rolled his eyes before he turned to face her. "They don't, but I guess you caught me on a good night." Sarcasm filled his tone. He glanced at her as her long brown hair was tucked behind her ears._

_"We will be fine. I'll just call a cab and get her home." She said digging for her phone. "Thanks again. Enjoy the rest of your night."_

_Still searching for his brother, he knew he was long gone by now. Most nights he flew solo, but tonight he just wasn't feeling it. Stefan had pissed him off royally by ditching him and now after his decision to help he didn't want to go back in the bar. He didn't have a buzz quite yet and he knew he might as well go home. Plenty of liquor was stocked in his fridge and he had a few numbers in his phone if he was feeling desperate enough to dial up for a booty call._

_"I don't feel so good." The drunken girl said and the next thing he knew she had lost everything on the sidewalk and some in her lap._

_"Oh wow! You got to be fucking kidding!" The brunette moaned and walked over to her. "Caroline sit up! "_

_He watched as she pushed her friend up and tried to avoid the vomit. Her phone was pressed between her shoulder and her ear. She glanced up to see he was still standing there watching._

_"This isn't a free show. Thanks for your help." She snapped at him. "Hello?" Her tone changed as she answered the phone._

_Damon couldn't help but notice she was once again struggling with her friend who could barely sit up. He was pissing himself off more as he continued to further himself in this situation that didn't concern him, yet he was doing it anyway._

_"Let me," he said walking over and propping her friend into a sitting position that was fail proof from her falling back on the sidewalk and into her own vomit. "I swear to God if you puke on me." He uttered to himself._

_The brunette chuckled. "She does have a habit of having round two, so I watch out if I were you." She informed him. Damon jumped back._

_"It's nine o'clock. What hell did she drink to get like this?" He asked out of curiosity. It was none of his damn business, but he asked anyway._

_"Shot after shot after shot." She replied. "I actually came to pick her up. I thought she would be functioning enough to walk home since I live a few blocks over, but guess not." _

_Stepping back he did notice she was in attire that wasn't appropriate for the bar they were just in. She wore a baggy sweater and jeans with mid thigh boots. Little make up was drawn on her face even though she didn't need it. Damon noticed she was naturally attractive without all the cover up and glitz most girls wore out. He would be lying if he said he wasn't the tad bit attracted to her at the moment._

_"Bad break up." He stated._

_"What?" She asked crossing her arms in front of her._

_"If she was not out with you and dressed like that she must have had a bad break up." Damon explained. "Am I wrong?"_

_"You probably spend way too much time out at these places to be able to infer that." She side glanced him. "But yes that is what happened." _

_"I'm just observant." He smirked and put a little charm on._

_The slightest smile returned on her face, but she looked down at the ground. He was over welcoming his stay as he placed his hands in his pockets and stared at her. God she was beautiful. Something in the air tonight was drawing him toward her and to think he almost ignored her in the first place. Maybe his buzz was kicking in a little after all._

_"I'm Damon by the way." He announced._

_The girl looked up. "Elena. And this one is Caroline," she pointed at her passed out friend with a gaping mouth._

_A dark SUV pulled up to the curb with the passenger seat window rolled down blasting the music loud and for all to hear. "Damon Salvatore!" The man sitting in the driver's seat yelled. "How the fuck are you?" He smiled goofy. It was an old friend, someone he hadn't seen in years. Not wishing to converse with the guy he nodded his head and waved._

_"Fine." He replied wanting to keep it short._

_"You are too sober this late in the game. Hop in. I'm headed south to that place we use to party at back in undergrad." The guy said to him._

_Glancing over at his new acquaintance, Elena, he noticed she had taken a seat next to her sleeping friend and was glaring at her lit up phone screen. What the fuck was wrong with him tonight? His usual response to an invite that include booze was a for sure yes, but tonight something about his random run in was making him act all different. His eyes swept back and forth unsure of what to do. Noisy chatter from behind him broke his distracted attention as he saw a group of young girls filing toward the car._

_"Last chance dude." The guy said._

_Damon debated his options: continue his night out on the town like he planned or go home. What he wanted was his newly discovered beauty to join him, but the chances of that happening were slim. He held up his finger and walked over to the bench._

_"Hey, you sure you'll be okay waiting here for a cab?" He asked her._

_"I can handle myself." She replied._

_"Okay." Damon said softly about to turn toward the car. He halted and twirled back around to face her. "Just a thought, but after you get drunky home here you are more than welcome to join me down the street for a few drinks."_

_"Tempting," she stated. "But I think I should probably stay with her. Go, I've already ruined your night enough."_

_Her statement wasn't entirely true. Being bothered by the incoherent state of her friend was a nuisance, but being bothered by her was a blessing in disguise. Turning down his offer made him bitter and he wished she would change her mind. However, there was no way she was going to leave her friend's side. At least he tried._

_"Your loss." Damon shrugged his shoulders. "Have a good night."_

_"You too." She smiled._

_The car was reaching its maximum occupancy and he quickly got in. Inside the music was even louder and the women were glowing with beauty. His mind was still on her, Elena. He wanted to shake her off, but couldn't. With all these women surrounding him, eyeing him for what he was, he knew he could easily be distracted. However, he had a funny feeling what happened tonight and whom he met was some cosmic way of telling him something. What that was he would have to wait and see. _

By the time he had let the memory of their first meeting engulf him, he was on the floor holding the picture frame to his chest. Damon could no longer hold back the tears and wept. That night was the beginning of it all. Had he known then what was about to unfold he would have made more of an effort. But he didn't know. Everything happened for a reason and him meeting Elena that night so briefly was always meant to be. He knew it in his heart.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Thank you to every one of you that reviewed the last chapter. I apologize if this story seems to be starting at a slow pace, but don't worry it will pick up. Continue to let other Vampire Diaries fanfiction readers to check out this story. I know a lot of you originally read the FSOS series prior to this. Thank you for checking out my other work. It means a lot. Leave a review of what you think of this chapter and what you think Damon's decision at the end of the chapter will lead him to do next. Enjoy!**

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CHAPTER 5.

"Damon?" The voice belonging to his brother, Stefan called out. _Fuck._

The photo was still clutched in his hand as he sat like a lump on his bedroom floor. His face was puffy and he knew he looked like complete shit. The stream of tears was endless as he recalled more memories even if he tried not to. It was impossible to forget everything and her. She had become his life and now he was nothing without her.

"Damon?" Stefan yelled again.

_Fucking go away, _he cursed to himself. He wanted to be alone, not to be checked up on every waking hour. Didn't anyone understand he just wanted to fucking wallow in his own shit for a while? Maybe if they had lost the one person they truly loved and had changed their life around they would understand, but he didn't wish that upon anyone. No one should lose the person they love not this early in life.

"I know you're home. Your door was unlocked." He shouted.

The footsteps were drawing nearer. He hoped if he didn't say anything at all he might go away. Instead, Stefan was on a mission to find him and boy was he about to be graced with such a lovely image.

"Damon?" Stefan said his name as he walked through the bedroom door and found him. "There you are."

"Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!" Damon mocked him. "Congratulations Nancy Fucking Drew."

"Please tell me you aren't drunk?" He voice whined with disappointment.

With a snarl of a look, Damon placed the picture back up on the dresser and forced himself off the floor. "No! But I wish I was now seeing as you showed up." He hissed.

"Don't joke about that." Stefan barked.

"Why? Just because you can't handle a little addiction humor doesn't mean I can't." Damon rolled his eyes. "Fuck, I need some humor in my life right now. I see no one else is willing to do so."

"You look wrecked." His brother stated.

"And you look like my piece of shit brother who can't stay away for two fucking seconds. I'm fine." Damon snapped. He saw the hurt in Stefan's eyes, but shook it off. "Don't take it personal. I'm not thrilled with anyone's company nowadays."

Glancing over at the clock on his nightstand it read 4:30 p.m. He had rolled in from his meeting with Ric sometime after one o'clock, which meant he had spent one hour too many on the floor being a selfish bastard and crying over his dead fiancé. Damon would be lying if he said he wasn't disgusted with himself. He was turning into everything he said he would never be. His personality didn't allow him to let his emotions get the best of him even over a girl, but in his case he had every right to be this way. He didn't like it, but he couldn't deny it either.

"I have no fucking alcohol here anyways." He sighed. "So if you came to check up on my state of cleanliness, your job here is done."

"Why can't you just let me help you through this?" Stefan asked.

It was the wrong question to ask. He was already irritated and embarrassed to be found like he had.

"Because I don't want your fucking help!" He screamed. "I don't want anyone's fucking help. Unless you can bring back the one thing, the one person I need and the love the most than please leave me the fuck alone. And please spread the word because I'm tired of everyone fucking treating me like I'm fucking child."

"Maybe that's because you are acting like a fucking child!" Stefan shouted back. "Maybe the reason everyone who is your friend or family keeps checking up on you is because we care."

He gave him a sideway, unappreciative glance.

"I know what a fucking shock that people might actually care about you. She wasn't the only one. We all care about you Damon. We all know what happened and are just as upset." He said trying to remain calm, but was failing. He was irate. A side of him he had only seen a few times in his life. "You're my brother. I'm always going to be there for you, so get fucking use to it."

The family card. He hated it and Stefan for using it. His relationship with his parents was never strong. At the young age of ten he lost his mother to a battle of addiction, something he clearly inherited from her. His father was more of an acquaintance than a role model. Few words were ever exchanged between the two of them. Prior to her funeral he hadn't spoken to his father in probably much. Despite living under the same roof, he kept conversations minimal and closed ended. Stefan was his only family he actually ever connected with. For years as a child and teen they were close. It wasn't until he reached high school that he started to steer away from the rights of life and head down a path of wrongs. That's when his relationship with Stefan lost its luster and their bond was never the same again. He loved his brother, but they led two different worlds. It wasn't until she came into his life and turned it around that he started to reconnect. Without her around it was hard to find a balance with him again.

"Just, I get it." Damon growled. "But honestly I just want to be alone."

"And I get it to, sort of." Stefan responded. "I just want you to know you don't have to do this alone if you don't want to."

"Oh, I know. You and everyone else keep reminding me of that." He said in a flat tone.

Stefan sighed. "I'm trying. I'm trying to do all that I can, but if you're not going to take it fine. Go fuck up your life again Damon. Go fall down that hole just like Mom did." The moment the words left his mouth he knew he shouldn't have said them at all. Stefan looked remorseful and pained by what he said. "Damon, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"Oh you meant it. You meant every word of it." Damon gritted through his teeth. "I think you should go. Now!"

"Damon," he tried to fix the situation.

"I will call fucking security if you're not of here in five seconds." He threatened.

"Please," Stefan begged.

"One." Damon counted. "And best believe I'm fucking serious. Two."

"I'm sorry." He apologized and turned on his heel fast. The door to his penthouse slammed shut behind him and Damon stood once again alone in his haunting bedroom. In fact, the whole place was haunting. So many years he occupied it by himself then she came along and he felt like it was always meant to be to have her here with him. He hated his penthouse now. It was too big for one person.

As he sulked in his room, he knew he needed to leave it. Damon headed for his study. It was dark as the shades were drawn and he turned on his desk lamp. It illuminated the room just enough. He bent down and found his thumb rubbing over the protruding number pad that was attached to his safe. Not even Elena knew his pass code for his safe. He shared many things with her, but this was his last resort of self worth. It kept all his most valuable and cherished things like documents, family heirlooms, and money. Something else resided in there. Something he was embarrassed to have. Something he held on to that he knew he shouldn't. He never opened his safe unless matters meant for it. His thumbs glided over the number pad once more knowing there was no need to open it at all, but at the same time he couldn't resist.

Beep. He hit the first number. Beep. He hit the second number.

_Damon, don't do this, _he could hear her whispering from afar. She didn't know what was in there, at least not everything. Yet, she continued to persuade him in his head it wasn't right.

Beep. The third number sang. One more number and it would unlock. He trembled and hovered over the final number. If he hit it, there would be no resisting it anymore. Temptation was overpowering him.

_You're better than this, _her weightless voice sang.

Was he better than this? At one point he might have believed he was, but right now he was beyond weak. All his promises were broken.

Beep. The fourth number was entered and the sound of sweet salvation clicked. He swung the door open and peered inside. A stack of papers sat in the front, while tiny boxes with memories of his past filled most of the safe. A black box where is money was held was pushed to the side, but neither of those things was what he wanted. He reached his hand in and found the short, wide object and withdrew it. Still pristine and barely touched, he admired its beauty. His lips salivated and his mouth grew with thirst. He shook as he unscrewed the cap and got a wift of the stench that made him crumble into nothing at all.

It was a bottle of Absinthe. The green liquor swayed in the bottle. One shot of it was all it took, that's how strong it was. Why did be have such a nasty and power liquor in the first place? It's was given to him during his darkest days from a friend of a friend. He had heard of it and the effects, but never tried it until that night. What a strange ride he went on. It was the last and only time he had done it. Even for him he knew it was too much and a risk. He stored it away thinking it was waste to throw out liquor, but it was too much of a hazard to be left lying around. His safe was the only place he knew where to keep it.

Now, as he stared at the temptation he knew he was better than this. However, it was something he was willing to risk. The cap was completely off and he drew the bottle to his lips. It burned just touching his mouth and he let if slip down his throat letting it burn more. The sensation was one he missed. The free flow of alcohol flowing and burning all the way down. He let himself drink enough and slammed the bottle down. Warm and satisfied, he put the cap back on and placed it back in the safe. He closed it hearing it lock and leaned back in his chair. It would be awhile before he felt the effects of the Absinthe take over. He was ready. Anything was possible when it was consumed. Either he was going to regret it miserably or he would be on the craziest ride of his life.

Closing his eyes, he snapped them open immediately. No one could find out about this and seeing as Stefan barged in on his sob fest, he didn't want anyone else to do the same. By the time it would be out of his system, he would be good enough to meet with Alaric again. He would never suspect a thing. Damon rose from his chair and went to his door. Locking it and dead bolting it, he slid to the ground and scanned his place. It really was too fucking big for one person.

His eyes felt shut again and he waited for what was to come next.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed Chapter 5. Sorry if you didn't receive an e-mail alert about the update. I believe the website is having some issues. Otherwise, I'm not sure why nothing was sent. If you did receive one then great. This chapter does have a MATURE WARNING for sexual content. Personally never trying absinthe I sort of winged this chapter with how someone would react to it. I apologize in advance to any of you dare devils who have tried the intoxicating substance if it isn't up to par. Leave a review with your thoughts and check back next Sunday for another update. Thanks for reading as always. Much love, MFF.**

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CHAPTER 6.

He was completely naked. He never felt this alive before. With the blinds drawn, he freely roamed his place in the nude thinking of everything and anything he could do. His mind wasn't wasted with sad thoughts even though he knew he was still devastated. Every emotion he felt was manageable. One moment he let himself cry for a bit, the next he let himself smile as a memory came to mind. It was exhilarating. He felt like he couldn't be touched. He was free.

The stereo was on full blast playing 80s rock music. He danced as he trotted around and sang along with the lyrics. "Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas echoed off the walls and he played air guitar to the solos. As foolish as he appeared, he did not care. Nothing mattered right now. He was going with the flow enjoying every single moment of it.

Passing a mirror, he stopped. He cocked his head to the side and looked at himself. "Damon Salvatore, you're one good looking piece of ass." His voice was filled with cockiness. He began to flex seeing his muscles pop. A thought struck him and he was down on the ground in push up position. His arms pulsed him up and down feeling the strength he once had. In the midst of the pain, he had forgotten about all the daily routines he once did. Working out was one of them.

After fifty push ups, he lied on his back with his knees up in the air and began crunches. It was crazy to feel such a need for fitness like this, but he knew he couldn't slack. He still remembered how much praise he got from her coming home from the gym. The way her hand ran over his muscles. It was such a turn on. The physical attraction was never a problem between them. It never took much for him to find himself losing control around her when it came to sex. She was irresistible.

Damon lied flat on the ground thinking about how beautiful and sexy she was. The Absinthe was really clearing his head and making him bounce all over the place in his thoughts. Minutes earlier he was crying over in the fetal position and now he was thinking of her in ways that were meant for a sinners mind. Sitting up his eyes fell down on his lower body where he found himself aroused. Fully erect and hard, he groaned. He wanted to fuck, but she wasn't around and immediately he was swarmed with sadness again.

"Fuck!" He screamed.

Completely committing himself to one girl for so long made him not want anyone else. Even if a striking beauty walked through his door he wouldn't think twice about turning her down. He was bound to Elena and even in death he swore he would never sleep with another woman.

"Fuck!" Damon yelled again. His inner, deep thoughts were coming to the surface faster than he wanted. If he was thinking with his dick in a sober situation or maybe a less intoxicated scenario he might consider it, but he knew he couldn't go through with it. She still had a hold on him. He was mad to think someone, such as her could do this. Elena was gone. Did he really want to live the rest of his life sex-less?

"Damon." His name was said.

His hooded eyes looked up as he saw a perfect outline of her. "Elena?" He said confused.

She smiled at him. Her long brown hair was combed appearing soft. Those dark brown eyes of hers stared and glimmered with love, passion, and joy. It was exactly how he remembered her. She was an angel. She was his angel. Dressed in a light pink, strappy dress she was barefoot. The smile never left her face as he sat naked on the floor gazing at her with so many questions.

"How are you here?" He asked.

"I never left." Elena replied.

"Yes, yes you did." Damon stated in a slurred voice. "You left. You left me. You left everyone."

Tears flooded his eyes, as he couldn't believe his eyes. She was so real and pure. He wanted to reach out and grab her, hold her, never let her go again. This was so fucked up, yet so realistic. Damon was ready to leap out of his skin just to be able to touch her.

"I'm here, Damon." She spoke in her sweet tone. "I always am and will be."

"I don't get it." He was boggled by the situation.

"You've been drinking." Elena stated. "Why Damon?"

Instant guilt sat in the pit of his stomach. "Because you fucking left. What else am I suppose to do without you? I have nothing without you." He cried in one large exhale. "I'm sorry, Elena. I'm sorry I disappointed you."

"You're better than this Damon. You know you are." She took a step toward him. His heart fluttered. The smell, her smell was filling his nostrils. "I'm here and I don't want you falling back on a promise you made to yourself and me. Remember that promise?"

How could he forget? She was there every step of the way. She was the one that got him on the right track in the first place. He had broken that promise twice now since she disappeared from this Earth. Utterly disgusted with himself, he knew he had fucked up bad. He wished he could take it back.

"I'm sorry." Damon cried. "Please forgive me."

"Of course, I will. I have faith in you Damon. I always have." Elena took another step closer. She knelt down next to him.

"Is this real?" He asked.

The gorgeous smirk that belonged to her was smeared across her face. "It can be as real as you want it to be." She whispered. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Damon breathed.

His reached out for her expecting nothing but air. When he felt the cloth of her thin dress and the silk that made up her skin, he shivered. The arousal from before heightened and he quickly gripped his hold on her. Her soft palms rested on his shoulders and her doe eyes were gazing at him with such love he couldn't help himself any longer. Damon leaned in to kiss her. Like a young and nervous boy, he kissed her slow and with little force. It was just like he remembered it. Soft, pink lips met his and tasted of only a flavor that made him want more. He broke free for a second to look at her. She smiled back.

"Kiss me, Damon." Elena demanded.

Eager with lust, he kissed her again. This time he was more forceful and playful. It was fast and sloppy. He didn't mind though and neither did she. His hands dove into the sea of her brown locks and his fingers tangled themselves into them. Her hands roamed from his shoulders to the back of his neck. Every kiss was made like it was his last.

The erection from before was rising again and he moaned at the arousing sensation. Her body slipped over his legs and straddled him with such grace. The space between her legs was bare. He felt every inch of her touch him sending him into a dizzy, sex driven mind.

His lips trailed away from hers as he made his path down her jawline and to her neck. Her head tossed backwards letting him find the familiar spots that made her moan. The sound of his name escaping her as he sucked and playfully bit her neck made him want her more. Her fingers curled into his scalp and tugged on his hair. He loved when she did this.

"Damon." She moaned loudly.

"I've missed you so much." Damon uttered on her skin.

"Damon." Elena gasped as he roughly ran his hand down the length of her arm and to her thigh. He had memorized every inch of her before and now it was like he was recollecting a fond memory. The touch of her skin was beyond amazing and it made him shiver even more. Her body was a wonderland. The pink fabric was covering his favorite parts of her and he needed to shed her of any clothing.

With one quick motion, he slipped the pink dress over her head leaving her in the buff. Her tight stomach and round breasts were out in the open. Moisture was forming on his erection as she stared at him. It honestly felt like it was their first time all over again. The passion, lust, and undying attraction were all present. For as long as he could remember the building tension of that moment made it all the better, just like it was now. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

Wetting her lips, she ran her hand down her body letting him gawk at her beauty. He didn't want to wait a second later to have himself inside her. Taking his hands he lifted her up feeling her curves and her ass. Her breasts pushed up against his chest letting her hard nipples arouse him even more. God did he want her.

Elena positioned herself and let him fill her up, both gasping with pleasure and happiness. He missed feeling her like this. He missed seeing her face, as he knew he was about to make her feel like she was on top of the world. Letting himself remember what she felt like, he snaked his arm around her back and kissed her again. Her hips rocked wanting to start the motions and he placed either hand upon her hip. Guiding her, he moved her up and down. Damon lied back on the ground as he looked up and watched her ride him. Her hair danced around her shoulders as her breasts bounced every time she fell down on him creating moans he couldn't contain.

This was real. It felt real. He wanted it to be real. How could it not be? It was the one thing he missed. The connection they shared. It was sex, but it was also making love. He loved her and wanted to make love to her for as long as he could. Whether it was slow and passionate or fast and rough, he didn't care. Their lovemaking had no ends. When it came to them, no place was safe especially in his penthouse.

Her hands flattened on his chest as she continued to bounce up and down. His fingers dug into her skin as he felt himself grow closer to climax. He tried to control himself seeing as he wanted her to do the same.

"Damon." She moaned again. He loved hearing her say his name.

"I fucking love when you moan my name." He uttered.

"Damon." Elena said with more lust.

"Fuck!" Damon yelled. Whatever she was doing it was working and well. He began to thrust deep inside her making her vibrate with pleasure. Elena pushed harder on his chest as her mouth hung open and he felt her walls constrict. "Come for me baby." He gritted through his teeth. Tiny shrieks of pleasure escaped her as she tensed and came collapsing to his words. Her fingernails dug into his skin. He twitched and lost his control seconds later.

It was the best sex he had in a long time. Elena quivered as she came down slowly from her climax and he panted until he was no longer aroused. She let him slid out of her as she rested on his chest. The warmth of her cheek met his skin and his hand was instantly stroking her hair.

"I love you." Damon confessed.

"And I will always love you." Elena replied kissing his chest.

He let them stay like this forever. He never wanted this moment to end.

Damon jolted against the cold hardwood floor as he opened his eyes. No beautiful fiancé was in his arms and he quickly glanced around for where she had gone. "Elena?" He called out, but no answer. The sudden throbbing in his head and bile rising in his throat made him leap up and head to the bathroom.

With just seconds to spare, he was hurling a dark green substance into the toilet. His body heaved with distaste and rejected anything else that sat in his stomach, which wasn't much. He gripped the porcelain God as he let it take its course. Water filled his eyes, as it was uncomfortable to be throwing up this violently. Once he felt he was done, he fell back on the floor. He wiped his mouth with his bare arm and let the awful headache ensue. The Absinthe had worn off and its effects were no longer altering his mind.

"Oh fuck." He cursed.

He remembered all of it, at least up to the point where he had Elena lying on his chest post-sex. _Mother fucker,_ he thought. It felt so real. He swore what had happened wasn't a mirage, but it had to be. Elena was dead. In no way had she been alive. How was it possible to feel her like that and do the things he did without her there? It hurt to think about it.

Part of his rollercoaster ride with Absinthe made sense. The reason he felt like he had achieved nirvana with that mind-blowing sex was because he had let himself release. He felt the sticky, white ejaculation on his stomach. Either he had come without any force by his very vivid hallucination or he had touched himself. Damon figured in his altered state he had been unable to take the ache and probably jacked off to the idea of Elena really being there and fucking him. It was slightly embarrassing, but he still remembered how good it felt.

Crawling over to the shower, he turned it on and waited for the water to heat up slightly. He needed to clean himself off not because of his own filth upon himself, but he had no idea what time it was. At some point he was going to have to go back out in to the public and talk to Alaric. He needed to look like he wasn't a complete wreck who just had a wild spin with Absinthe. What the fuck was he thinking? Absinthe? It was the worse alcohol you could drink. He was really regretting it now.

Despite his hatred for his poor choice, one good thing did come out of it. Even though now he was accepting the truth that Elena really hadn't returned from the dead one last time to satisfy his needs, he had saw her. The hallucination was so real he was clinging on to the drunken memory of her ghost. He didn't want to forget it as messed up as that was. Any memory of her was one to keep, even the bad ones. And yes there were plenty of bad ones.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Happy Sunday! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I've had eight chapters of this story pre-written for awhile now and it makes me really excited that you guys finally get to read it. Another flashback happens this chapter and I'm going to try to do one each chapter from here on out as long as it fits. The plot is going to start to pick up the pace to hopefully too. Have fun reading and leave a review if your heart desires. Thanks for reading.**

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CHAPTER 7.

He had a half-hour until he had to meet Alaric for his sponsored check-up. The fact that he was about to walk into their meeting and lie made him actually feel awful. He was a piece of shit for drinking again. He was a terrible person for lying that he was back on the straight and narrow when he wasn't. Three years of being sober and tasting one drop of alcohol had made him crave more. The night after the funeral had been the first and last night had been the second. Two consecutive nights in a row he had broken his promise. He was ashamed, but he wanted more. It was disgusting he wanted to go down that path again. He hated himself for it, but he was an addict

In his three-year stint of being clean some days had been better than others. Surrounding him with positive reinforcement always helped keep him on track. However, Elena was his biggest supporter and now she was gone. The blame was sort of put on her for why he had stumbled back into his old ways. No matter how many times in a day he said he wouldn't do it again, he knew all it took was one drink and he was hooked. Just the alcohol in the mouthwash he gargled to cover up the stench of his breath curved his craving. Damon was relapsing.

Staring up into the mirror, he shook his head. "You're fucking pathetic." Damon said to himself. The stubble on his cheeks and chin were becoming worse. He hadn't shaved in a few days, nor did he want to. Appearing more tired than anything he hoped to pull off his sloppy look due to stress and lack of sleep. He knew Alaric was keen on when he had been drinking or not. His best performance would have to come out today. The thought of having to go back to an actual AA meeting made him cringe. He was going to have to lie his ass off if he wanted to fool him and avoid the room of miserable fucks that were just as messed up as him.

By throwing on a dark V-neck t-shirt and jeans, he grabbed the essentials and headed out. The pile of his funeral clothes was still near the door. For some reason during his trip down Absinthe lane he took them off. Not wanting to touch them, he pushed them aside and out of the way for the time being. Damon ran his hand through his hair as he checked his reflection in the elevator's shiny interior. His ride down was halted as an elderly woman entered. He smirked briefly and fixed the sunglasses on his face.

"Sorry to hear about your loss." She said over her shoulder. "I read it in the newspaper. She was such a sweet girl."

"She was." Damon gritted through his teeth. First his family, then Ric, and now a random old woman was sending her condolences. If this was how his day was going to begin, he was tempted to cancel his downward journey to the parking garage and head back up to his penthouse. But he couldn't. He had to meet with Alaric. It was protocol.

Five more levels to descend and he would be on his way. The sound of screeching tires echoed through the cement garage once he left the elevator. Damon quickly got in to his car and sped off. He wanted to make as little contact as possible with the outside world.

The park where they had met before wasn't far from his place. With time to spare, he parked his car and glanced down at his phone. It was ten till noon and Alaric was nowhere in sight. Usually he was pretty prompt about sponsored meetings, but today he was grateful he had beat him to the punch. Taking a seat on the same bench, Damon rested his right foot on his left knee. He adjusted his sunglasses once more and checked his breath. Minty fresh was all he smelled.

"On time." Alaric called out a few feet away.

"I think I deserve some prize for beating you here." Damon joked.

"I would say a drink, but that wouldn't be appropriate." He smiled and sat down. "So, how have you been since I last saw you?"

"Well besides the usual fits of rage and unprotected sex I say fucking fantastic!" He said with great sarcasm.

Alaric did not find it amusing. "I'm serious. How are you?" He asked.

"How do you think I am?" Damon bounced the question back. He was depressed, upset, and to mention feeling like absolute ass this fine afternoon, but he didn't want him to know that. With his crutch for humor, he used it to his best ability. Keeping the laughter and conversation flowing made him appear livelier than he actually seemed and felt.

"You better be clean as a whistle." Alaric remarked.

"I'm as clean as it gets." He replied.

"So what did you do after I dropped you off at the scene of the crime?" Ric asked curiously.

_Shit._ This was his true test if he could pull this off. Damon focused and tried to stay calm. He flashed his famous smirk and explained. "Went home and wallowed. Then Stefan came over and was a complete dick, nothing out of the ordinary. After he left, I just wallowed some more." He tried to keep the details to a minimum.

"And no booze helped this wallowing?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Not a drop." Damon answered. "I can wallow and be sober. I know it's a fine task to handle, but I think I handled it well."

Through his tinted shades he watched and speculated what Alaric was about to say next. He wasn't sure if he was buying his story. Most of it was true while he managed to leave out the most important part. If Alaric had found he drank again, he was done. If he found out he still had that bottle of Absinthe, he was dead. If he found out he had drank it he would put him instantly six feet under. Alaric took sobriety seriously and at one point he did too. He knew how fucked up his habit had become and the sort of trouble he was getting into. As a young boy he watched his mother lose her battle with addiction and knew he was headed toward the same fate if he wasn't careful. But addiction ran through his blood. He was his mother's son. It was written in his DNA to struggle with this demon as long as he was alive.

"You swear to me that you didn't go home and drink?" He tried to confirm.

Damon cleared his throat. "What alcohol is there to drink at my place? It's clean, I swear." He lied.

"Okay," Alaric shrugged. "But remember if I find out you did or you do drink again it's straight to AA mister. I'm dead serious."

"Scouts honor." Damon humored him.

God he was going to fucking hell for this. While Elena was free and roaming away in heaven, he would be rotting in hell for all his sins. It was an odd thought to have about where she was now, but he knew he was building his case thicker for all the reasons of why he wasn't good.

"You want to grab some lunch?" Alaric suggested.

Not sure if he could stomach food at the moment, he nodded his head anyways and agreed to food.

"Let's walk. It will be good for the both of us." He added. "I'm craving a burger and I could use the exercise before I scarf one of those down."

"Sure." Damon responded.

_Fuck my life_, he groaned to himself. Walking was only making his Absinthe hangover worse, yet he portrayed to be not showing any signs of it. But that wasn't the only reason he was annoyed. Walking entitled talking and clearly Ric wanted to talk. Whether it was about life or a sports game or about Elena, he hoped it would not turn into a argument. He didn't have the strength in him to fight today.

As they reared the corner of a red brick building, he paused. The sign read, Graham Ave Pub and Grill. Alaric continued to walk and talk about something he was honestly not paying any attention to. His distraction had completely torn him from whatever he was saying now.

"You really should cut your brother some slack. He is only trying to help." He said not knowing Damon had stopped a few feet away as he reached to open the door. "Uh, Damon?"

Puzzled, he looked up at the sign. It took a moment to render what it meant and where they were before his hand was no longer on the door handle and next to him.

"Geez, fuck. I wasn't thinking." Alaric apologized. "I was thinking with my stomach not my brain. We can go somewhere else."

"No, it's fine." He snapped. "I can't runaway from everything that reminds me of her."

"No, you can't." Alaric sighed. "But you can if you want to right now. We can go to that other place down the street. The burgers there are just as good."

"It's fine. Go." Damon insisted. As much as wanted to run, he knew he had to stop thinking that way. With it still fresh on his mind and heart, he was trying to mend what was terribly broken.

Inside it was just like he remembered it, high ceilings, the smell of bleach, and attractive women ready to serve. It was where he had seen her for the second time. He still could recall their unexpected run in and he was glad fate has brought them together once again.

* * *

_Tired, hung-over, and crabby, Damon was hunched over his desk. He needed to end his misery with a mimosa or something. It was becoming impossible to get anything done at work. Checking his watch, it read fifteen minutes till eleven. He gathered his things and left his messy and unproductive desk. _

_The streets were lively with workers on their breaks for the afternoon, yet Damon could not say he was one of them. He was fortunate enough to have a high rank in his office letting him come and go as he pleased. Today he was using it to his advantage. _

_Damon stalked the afternoon streets as he placed his shades on his face sitting snugly on his nose. His little departure could not turn into an all-afternoon adventure as much as he wanted it to. A happy hour was in order and it was the only way to get his brain semi-functioning to get any work done at all. He had strictly an hour to drink a good amount before he would head back and finish up. He was on a mission._

_A few blocks over he found the solution to his problem. A bar and grill, Graham Avenue flashed its sign from closed to open and he made no time waiting as he walked right in. It was dull and reeked of bleach. The interiors struck him as a place he had been in before, but many bars blended together on many of his drunken nights. He had his set bars he liked to drink at and this was not one of them. However, he was desperate to curve his hangover into a buzz and it was the first that became available on his journey._

_Taking a seat at the bar, he pulled out his wallet and hunched over. The voices of the first shift employees clucked from behind the swinging door to his left. He wished for them to end their morning charades and serve him already. He didn't have much time. Seconds passed before he heard the door fling open and a peppy and forced 'hello' filled his ears._

_"Welcome to Graham Ave." The girlish voice sang. "I'm Elena. What can I get you?"_

_His head nearly shot up. He felt the knot forming at the base of his neck, as he knew he had strained it. The name she said rung a bell. That was the same name of the beautiful girl from last night. Through his sunglasses he looked her up and down. The long, straight brunette hair and big brown eyes gave her away. She smiled awkwardly as she waited for him to answer. He had a hard time concentrating as he fawned over her low cut shirt that managed to show just enough cleavage to make him drool. The shirt she wore was tight too and as he leaned forward just enough he saw the tiny shorts she had on too. He was beginning to grow another problem._

_"I'll have a mimosa, Elena." Damon replied taking off his sunglasses._

_Her smile fell as she stared for a brief moment and made the connection from the night before as well. "You." She said and put her hands on the bar. "I met you last night."_

_"I helped you with your friend." He added._

_"Right," she pushed her hair behind her ear. "Thanks again."_

_Awkward silence passed as they exchanged glances and she motioned to the freshly cleaned glasses and began mixing his drink. "Small world isn't it?" She finally spoke up as she reached for a bottle._

_"Yes, it is." Damon remarked. He cringed as he saw the bottle she picked to mix into his drink. The thought crossed his mind to correct her and supplement him with something of higher quality, but he remained silent and observant._

_"Here you go." She handed him the drink. "Starting early I see."_

_"It's never too early to start." He winked at her._

_A smile spread across her face and she glanced away. Another moment of awkward silence presented itself and immediately he despised it. He was never the one to be at a loss of words especially around beautiful woman such as her. Thriving off his charm, he could make any girl feel special when he was with them. Usually his intentions were meant for more than just a flirtatious conversation and usually he succeeded._

_"So, how did the rest of your night go?" Damon asked casually._

_Pushing a bowl of pretzels his way, Elena sighed. "Mine, fine. My friend's not so great." She shook her head. "My guess is she is still on the bathroom floor and not at work."_

_"If I was in her condition last night I think be doing the same thing." He said knowing it was a lie. No matter how bad the hangover was he always made it to work or wherever he had to be. Many years of practice let him accomplish more things than most hung-over humans could on a normal day._

_"Speaking of last night," she leaned forward. Her breasts pushed farther through the V-neck cut on her shirt. Damon tried his best not to stare. "How are you even drinking? Seemed like those friends of yours were crazy. Can't imagine you had a tame night."_

_Damon popped a pretzel into his mouth. "I'm managing. I've been worse, done worse, felt worse. And they aren't my friends. More like acquaintances." He informed her._

_"I see." She smirked._

_"I'll admit though my morning was going horribly until I came here." He slyly said and took a rather large gulp of his drink. She straightened up and smoothed out her shirt. It was obvious his remark made her shift uncomfortably. _

_For the third time he was met with silence. It was becoming an irritation for him. Why was this happening? He could charm the pants off any girl and have them in the palm his hand, but not her. She was cute, friendly, had a great body, but the moment he hinted toward flirting she became different._

_He needed to be quick and think on his toes. Their conversation couldn't end here. He didn't want to be just another customer to her. He wanted more and he really didn't know why. This was the most odd feeling ever. No girl ever had him this confused._

_"Why don't you join me for a drink?" He suggested tapping his glass._

_"Can't drink on the job." She politely replied and smirked._

_"Oh." Damon said._

_"Elena!" A voice from the swinging door at the end of bar yelled._

_Appearing startled and annoyed, she wiped her hands on her shorts. "Um, I'll be right back. Do you want anything from the kitchen while I head that way?" She asked._

_"I'm good." He stated._

_The way her ass moved as she strutted away made the problem in his pants grow worse. He pushed his hand down on his crotch in hopes of suppressing his boner. Her tight little outfit confirmed his attraction. She wasn't only beautiful, but she had a killer body to match._

_The door to the kitchen swung violently as he watched from a distance. As it swung he saw Elena with her hands on her hips talking heatedly with someone else. That someone else was a man and he did not look happy. Only muffled noises came from the direction as he listened in. Whatever was being discussed it wasn't pleasant. She ran her hand through her hair seeming pissed._

_Looking down at his phone, he saw he had one missed call. It was from the office. "Shit." He uttered to himself. Taking his drink in his hand and pouring the rest of the liquid down his throat, he withdrew his wallet. Slapping a twenty-dollar bill down, he gathered himself. Every part of him wanted to stay and make an afternoon of it, but he couldn't. He wasn't even going to get a chance to say goodbye to her. For what it was worth, maybe it was a good thing. No more chances for awkward silences. However, he wanted to see her again. Making this place his daily lunchtime pit stop was a thought, but he didn't want to seem desperate. If anything he wasn't that._

_With one more glance at the kitchen door, he booked it. Damon didn't bother to look back or acknowledge the fact that he was having a hard time walking with feeling like he was going to bust through his pants. He knew were his priorities laid even if his desires remained somewhere else._


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Happy Update Sunday! Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. You are graced with another flashback chapter today. Not every chapter will have a flashback, but I adore writing them and a lot of upcoming chapters will have them. Hope you enjoy! Please leave a review. **

**Follow MFF on Twitter at MystFallsFanfic.**

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CHAPTER 8.

Damon hunched over at the table with a menu in front of him. He could use a drink and a strong one, but he had to resist and make sure it appeared he was not giving into temptation when he already had. His eyes scanned the food choices and his stomach churned. Food was not what he needed. He wanted a lot of things right now. He wanted to not feel like shit. He wanted a drink that didn't consist of fizz or filtered water and he wanted to be anywhere but here because it reminded him of her. However, his wants were outweighed by his need. More than anything he needed her. He needed her because he loved her. He needed her because he missed her. Mostly, he needed her to keep him from becoming a fuck up all over again.

"Hey guys." A low male voice approached them. "What can I get you guys to drink first?"

If his stomach wasn't already hurting, he felt it get even worse. As he peered up from his menu about to order a coke hold the whiskey, he saw him. Tall, blonde, and built like he was ready to play professional football was the man Elena had left for him over three years ago. Needless to say, he was not fond of him or of him being in his bar.

"Fuck my life." Damon murmured and slapped the menu down the table.

"I'll just have a water." Alaric spoke up.

Alaric was well aware of the situation that was about to evolve, but chose to ignore it.

"Coke for me." Damon said avoiding all eye contact.

His name was Matt. When he had met Elena for that second time that afternoon he had saw him, but had not seen him as more than the bastard boss that he came off to be. He quickly learned after that he was more than just her boss. Matt had been her boyfriend.

Waiting he knew he was going to be asked to leave. He was not welcome here anymore after in Matt's words "stole his girl". Damon remembered it differently, but it didn't stop him from being a first rate jackass toward him.

"Damon," he stated his name. His hands fell from his hips and he stared down at the ground. It wasn't hatred or even anger that was smeared across his face. It was sorrow and pain. Matt's hands were lose for once instead of balled into fists whenever he saw him. "I'm so sorry…about Elena."

He had been holding his breath. His chest was tight and he glanced over at Alaric, who was shrugging his shoulders and just as surprised as he was. Those were the last words he expected out of his mouth. Something along the lines of, "get the fuck out of my bar" or "you have some nerve showing up here after what you did" were usually what he got from Matt, but not today. He was getting a fucking apology.

"I can't imagine what you're going through." He continued.

_Line up buddy, _he thought. Everyone was saying that to him. He wished they wouldn't.

"I'm really sorry." Matt said once more. This time he sounded even worse. Damon glanced up at him. He appeared to be on the verge of tears.

"Thanks." He replied finally.

"Can I say something?" Matt asked permission.

Damon saw how uncomfortable Alaric was and wished he would man up and take hold of the situation seeing as he was being such a friend lately, but he remained quiet. He didn't respond because he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what Matt had to say. It was a little unpredictable at the moment what was about to come out of his perfect mouth.

"I know I was a complete dick to you in the past." He stated slowly propping his hands up on his hips. His eyes were on the floor. "And I'm sorry. I realize now that Elena and I would have never worked. I was jealous."

"Of what?" Damon blurted out.

"Of how happy you made her." Matt confessed. "I get it. She was beautiful and young and a saint. You deserved her far more than I ever did. I'm just sorry it took me until now to realize that."

His heart was far down in his stomach. He had no intentions of eating anything now. What he wanted was something with a little bite on the rocks, but not with Alaric present. Even Matt knew his clean streak, but he had a feeling he would serve him considering what had happened.

"Thanks." Damon managed to say staring dead on at his menu.

Clearing his throat, Matt spoke, "I'll go get those drinks for you guys." He smiled weakly and turned around to head to the kitchen.

"Well that was fucking awkward." Damon exhaled.

"People giving you their condolences are not awkward Damon." Alaric flipped the menu back open. "It's what people do when someone dies. I know this isn't something you wish to endure, but it's reality. Get over it!"

"Fuck you too." He responded.

Alaric smirked up from his menu. "You shouldn't be so closed off to the God damn world sometimes. Let it in. People care about you. I know that's hard to believe." He told him.

"Matt does not fucking care about me." Damon rolled his eyes. "He just probably feels like he has to say all of that."

"Does it ever occur to you that maybe he might actually meant what he said?" Alaric asked. "That maybe he was wrong and he realizes that you and Elena were meant for one another after all."

Once again, Alaric was on his holy roll. He always had to give his perspective and insight into the situation making it sound better than it actually was. Damon knew well that people didn't care and were only playing nice with him for what had happened. He was an ass and the whole fucking town knew that. When Elena was with him, when she finally gave in and bound herself to him for three years he had changed, but that didn't mean people would forget what he use to be. And still to this day he knew exactly who he was too.

"You seem to forget that it wasn't so easy, this whole meant to be crap." Damon informed him.

* * *

_Favorite freshly clean black V-neck shirt. Check. Crisp black jeans to match. Check. Perfectly tossed sex hair. Check, minus the actually having sex part, yet. Damon was fully ready for another night of good music and well mixed drinks. Tonight was different though. With his heart set on one thing, he fought internally with himself about what he was walking into. _

Salvatore, don't get your hopes up,_ he inwardly thought. _

_His car pulled up to a nearby parking garage and he let the engine die. The square metal flask with the initials D.S. inscribed into it sat in the passenger seat taunting him. Snatching up the cool carrier, he took the last swig of whiskey and let it burn down his throat and all the way into his stomach._

_Damon ran his hand through his hair a few times as he glanced into his rear view mirror. Even he knew he looked good. He was one of the most eligible bachelors in town and every girl who caught wind of his name and assets wanted him. Young. Handsome. Rich. He was the ideal man that every girl desired and he was pleased with that reputation. It helped him score the hottest girls. It swayed the rules of many establishments. He felt untouchable. When he was set on something or someone, he didn't lose and tonight was no exception._

_But a part of him had doubt._

_Walking on to the busy streets on a Friday night solo, he looked to his left. He saw the sign and inhaled a large breath of cool air. A few barely dressed girls giggled as they passed him and he smiled. They quickly whispered and clicked their heels onward in the opposite direction. If his heart wasn't already set on a destination for the night he would have gladly followed bringing home at least one of them, but he didn't stray. Damon turned to his left and walked toward the bright sign that he read in the afternoon sunlight ten hours before. _

_Exactly going on nine o'clock, he looked in the windows of the bar and saw a decent size crowd. Girls in black low cut shirts and short shorts were mingling around and making many men stare. He was at the right place. _

_Graham Avenue Bar and Grill the sign illuminated above him. A large man stood at the door. Usually met with a big grin at many other bars, this one he did not. He hovered in the doorway with his arms crossed. Damon glanced around and was met with a low, booming voice._

_"I.D." He demanded_

_Wanting to argue that he appeared old enough and concerning his reputation there was no need to be stopped, he bit his tongue and produced his driver's license. _

This better be damn worth it, _he thought rolling his eyes._

_The bouncer nodded and he let him pass on by. Damon simply smirked and was met with a steel guitar and insane drum medley. Something made him felt at ease._

_This was his first time ever at this particular bar at night. He had his usual places of consumption and none of them compared to this one. Most of them were dimmed with blue lighting and neon bars and deafened by loud techno music. He wasn't one for electrifying music that was created from a computer program, but it was what the girls were into these days and he only went where the good looking and easy ones gathered. So when he didn't hear that type of music and was surrounded by natural lighting and 80s rock music he felt like he stepped into a twilight zone; a good one at that._

_"Hello." A girl dressed similar to the rest with a tiny logo on her left breast indicating her employment came up to him. "What can I get you handsome?"_

_"How about your finest whiskey on the rocks?" He grinned and instantly his charm was on._

_"Coming right up." She smiled letting two dimples fall into place on her cheeks. Damn she was cute, but he couldn't get distracted._

_The waitress with a tray in her hand went over to the bar, the same bar he sat at for lunch. He followed leaning against it and scanning over the crowd._

_"Here you go handsome." The girl chimed from behind him._

_"Thanks." He winked._

_"I've never seen you here before. You new to town?" She asked._

_Damon shook his head. She had no idea who he was and usually he loved the naive, but tonight he couldn't get caught up in his usual antics. _

_"No." He replied. "Let's just say I don't get out much."_

_Another wink came without force. It was natural and he tried to stop himself. _

_"Can I ask you if Elena is working tonight?" Damon casually dropped the question._

_"She isn't." She answered and leaned forward. "She usually works day shifts, but she might be here tonight. You a friend?"_

_Her hazel eyes looked him up and down. There was no denying she was checking him out and enjoying it too. However, he wasn't enjoying the gawking as he was hooked on what she said. Just when he thought his hopes were lost, he found them again. He hoped the last part of her statement was true. It was the only reason he was here. He didn't know if she went out or where she would go. He didn't know anything about her. All he did know was that he was attracted to her in a way that was almost insane and this was where she worked. He had to start somewhere. So far he was doing okay._

_"You could say that." He replied taking another drink._

_"What's your name?" The waitress asked nearly screaming._

_"Damon."_

_"If I see her I'll let her know your here, Damon." The girl straightened up and tapped the bar. She gave him a quick wink and moved on to another gentleman waiting for a drink._

_If Elena was out of the equation he would have played that situation a whole lot differently, but she wasn't. He was crazy for doing this. He never did stuff like this for a girl. He wasn't infatuated with any girl until now. What the fuck was wrong with him? Damon knew to keep his options open tonight just in case. It was rare for him to go home alone and last night he had. Tonight he didn't want a repeat._

_Another song blasted over the speakers and he found himself bobbing his head to the bass. It was an ACDC song, a classic. All these years he had skipped the place seeing it clientele and now he understood what he was missing out on. He imagined himself kicking it with his friends and checking out the beautiful and well-endowed waitresses choosing which ones they wanted to take home later. But there was a problem with that thought. He lacked in the friend department. Plenty of people liked to associate themselves with him, but he couldn't really call any of them a friend. Stefan, his brother was the closest thing he had to a friend and even he despised him for what he did and stood for. Just thinking about it made him want to down a whole bottle._

_Finishing his drink he signaled for another and opened a tab. This was going to be either a long night or a short-lived one._

_A glass shattering drew his attention away from his people watching and flirting with passing waitresses. He looked over and saw some pathetic back bar guy cleaning it up as the girls moved around him. It made him laugh. He couldn't remember a time when he didn't have game. His mother, when she was alive told him he would be a heartbreaker when he grew up and she was spot on. She claimed it was his eyes that would get him in trouble and she was right, but it also had got him out of a lot of trouble too. It made him sad to know his mother was the only one that ever understood him and her life was taken too early. He wondered if he would have turned out the way he did if she was still in his life, but he knew that answer already._

_"Elena!" He heard her name screamed through the loud music. His neck snapped hard to the right and saw the waitress from before leaning over the bar. This was it._

_Damon slid his way across the room ready to make his move. As he got closer he saw what she was wearing. A maroon tank top was tucked into her black skintight skirt that just fell mid thigh. Her legs went on for days as she stood in heels that made her butt look even more perfect than it already did. Her hair was down in loose curls and she was still wearing the same makeup from earlier._

_The waitress pointed to him as he approached and she flipped her hair over her shoulder._

_"Hey," he began._

_"Are you stalking me?" She asked abruptly._

_"What?" Damon stopped. It wasn't the greeting he was hoping for._

_Her eyes blinked his way a few times before falling beyond where he stood. She was looking for something or someone. Still taken back by her question he was left speechless, which no girl ever did. He really wasn't stalking her, was he? This afternoon was an accident. He had no idea she even worked here let alone thought he actually she her again. Tonight was intentional though, but not stalking. _

_"Excuse me." Elena groaned and pushed past him._

_The tiny hairs on his arms grazed her skin as she made the slightest physical contact. Damon followed her with his gaze as she moved through the crowd letting her perfectly shaped ass sway. His eyes were glued to her as he couldn't believe how wonderfully built she was._

_Raising his glass to his lips, he watched like a spectator. Whatever was distracting her he hoped wouldn't take much longer. He had to make his move. He had to show her he was interested. _

_She stopped as she approached a stocky man dress in a Ralph Lauren polo and jeans. Her hand was on his bicep as she talked, no yelled at him. The man listened and listened not saying a word as her mouth never stopped running. The hand on his arm dropped and went firmly to her hip. The long brown locks of hair attached to her head bounced as she shook her head and he snaked his arm around her waist. Immediately, he was alarmed._

_Who was this man?_

_Blonde hair, broad shoulders, and dressed like he was ready to appear in a magazine ad, Damon recognized him. He was the same guy from the kitchen. He was the guy arguing with her earlier. Before he assumed he was just the boss, but now he realized he was much more than that. The man leaned in close as he tried to fight for her gaze and she glanced over at him pouting. While his one hand was on her back, the other rested on her hip. The smallest smile crept on her face as he kissed her neck and then her lips._

_Damon gripped his glass leaving his knuckles white and his eyes blazing her way. Had he really seen them kiss? His whole plan was being poured down the drain. Quickly, he chugged his whiskey drink and slammed it on the counter. This was not how he saw this night playing out. He was kicking himself for getting his hopes up so high. Of course she was taken, not that it mattered. Committed women were the least of his worries. As long as they said yes to his seduction, he didn't care about what the repercussions. He only wanted one thing out of many women and that was sex and boy did he want it with her, but his chances were slipping away. Receiving the cold shoulder already tonight he knew it was not probable._

_As he continued to watch, they parted ways. Elena was heading back in his direction and he pretended to seem disinterested by her. _

_"Hey!" She shouted._

_Damon turned around to see she was directing it toward him._

_"Look I don't know what your deal is," she shouted. "But I have a boyfriend."_

_"I see that." He replied. _

_She reached over the bar and waved at the same girl that had helped him earlier. It was obvious she was attracted to him as she came over right away and flashed him a big smile. Elena said something to her as she glanced at him a few times. Damon saw her wandering eyes, but his were wandering too. It was right there. Her ass was a few inches away from him and her skirt was riding dangerously upward revealing more of her toned legs. The boner in his pants was beginning to get out of control._

_Grabbing an envelope from the waitress, she turned around to see him. His eyes snapped back up and he smirked. "How about I buy you a drink?" He suggested. Damon prayed she didn't turn him down again._

_"I have to go." Her breath hitched and she moved past him._

_"Elena…" Damon said her name with desperation. He didn't know why he was saying her name or even grabbing her arm. The reaction he was having was almost embarrassing. This wasn't him at all._

_Over the speakers the music changed to an upbeat tempo. A soft guitar rift played and a rhythmic cymbal shook as another classic rock song played for all to hear. Damon instantly recognized it as Asia's "Heat of the Moment." It brought back memories of his childhood days and school dances; even back then he was suave and had luck with the girls. _

_"Please let go of me." Elena pleaded._

_His hand released her skinny arm and she scowled at him with wide eyes. Foreign and forbidden, he wished he had another drink in his hand. Not enough liquor could solve how he felt right now._

_"Every thing okay?" The husky man asked. _

_"Peachy." Damon replied cranking his neck toward the bar._

_"Is this guy bothering you?" He confronted her._

_Flustered was the perfect definition of how she appeared as her hair swayed and her eyes blinked like she was internally debating the situation. She stepped close to the man and placed a hand on his shoulder. "No, Matt." Her reply wasn't completely truthful. The way she had reacted made it clear she was annoyed with him showing up._

_"Let's just go." She waved the envelope in her hand._

_Matt purposely gave him the death glare as he put his arm around her and directed her toward the doorway. A cocky smirk painted across his boyish face leaving him only to simmer in his own dislike for him more. Barely knowing the guy, he hated him. In the last 24 hours he had gone from consumed to dangerously territorial. She had this affect on him, yet he barely knew her as well. He was way out of his league. The beautiful vixen named, Elena had captured him in the moonlight and now was strutting away with a jockey douche bag. He hated to admit to it, but he was jealous and Damon Salvatore didn't do jealous._

_Pushing his way back up to the bar, he found the brunette bombshell waitress he had spoke to before. She eagerly pranced over to him and grabbed another whiskey on the rocks. Her body was every bit to gawk over and he was forcing himself to focus on what was right in front of him and not what had just walked out the door. This was what he did. He was weak for beautiful women and tonight would be no stranger to that._

_"Pour me a shot of that." He demanded. "I say pour yourself one, but I understand the whole not drinking on the job thing."_

_"The boss just left. I don't think he'll mind." She winked at him with long lashes._

_Two chilled shot glasses were produced on the bar and both filled with the brownish delight of whiskey. They tipped their head back in unison letting every last drop of the fiery, burning liquid smooth down their throats. His body numbed at the sensation and he leaned in taking a sip of his drink to help wash it down._

_"Whoever told you we couldn't drink on the job must be new here." She laughed shaking the bottle. Damon nodded signaling for another. "We can definitely drink, just not get drunk. Bosses orders." _

_Another silent toast and the whiskey shot was down the hatch simulating every nerve in his body to tingle. He had reached his point of perfection and there was no stopping now. Alcohol was his weakness and no amount was ever enough. _

_Damon looked over his shoulder to find Elena nowhere in sight. To say the least he was pissed. What girl in their right mind turned him down? He was charming, friendly, and easy on the eyes. Being conceited was never a flaw in his eyes. Confidence was what he viewed himself as it got him pretty far in life. Although, it had until he met her. Many mixed signals flowed out of her earlier. A smile plastered on her face while she displayed her strikingly beautiful features as she served him. What he thought was a simple conversation with the occasional flirting was nothing more than her doing her job. The idea of him being just another afternoon customer to please made him livid. And to think she had lied straight to his face._

_Can't drink on the job were her exact words to him. Reality was setting in that he was chasing a lost cause with an asshole of a boyfriend and boss. He had been so wrapped up in her looks and his attraction that he was missing all the obvious signs that she was just another girl who let a man control her. It was plain to see that from this afternoon and tonight. A smile barely broke on her face when she was with him. How was their relationship even possible?_

_He was doing it again. Over analyzing a girl he barely knew and getting caught up in assumptions he had no truth to. What he saw was no denial, but what he assumed afterwards was only making him sound pathetic. Damon was ready to punch himself for being such a lovesick prick._

_"How about another drink?" He requested from the waitress._

_Handing her a large bill and a rectangular business card with his name and number on it, he took his newly poured drink and walked away. His eyes scanned the crowd for lonely women looking for a dance partner. The alcohol was flowing freely and he was on his downward spiral as usual. He didn't care because he didn't want to. He never cared and no girl, not even Elena could make him do that._

_It was no surprise five hours later when he heard his phone ringing as he stumbled out of the bar to hear the sultry voice of the brunette waitress wanting to meet up. He gladly accepted her as his vision blurred and his body relaxed. They met up at his car in the early hours of the morning. He could taste the lip gloss she wore and smelled the powerful perfume she had dosed herself in. Clothes were scattered in the backseat of his car as he knew they both only had one thing on their minds. Sweat poured down his chest as he grasped her hips and pounded into her causing the car to shake. The windows steamed up and he watched as her body bounced with every stroke. Drunk and blazed he pretended she was someone else. As he came and pulled out, he fell back on the seat of his car panting._

_"Call me anytime." She whispered getting dressed back into her skimpy bar uniform. Kissing him one last time, she left as he remained naked and exhausted in the back of his car. _

_Only one smell was potent and it wasn't a new car smell. He slammed his fist down on the leather seat and swore. "Fuck!" He was aggravated. What should have been a meaningless fuck leaving him satisfied and ready to head home created a problem._

_It wasn't the brunette's clothes he pictured scatter throughout his car. It wasn't her gorgeous naked body he kissed and touched. It wasn't even her made up face that he saw. It was Elena's. Every part of him envisioned her in the back of his car being royally fucked and he knew he shouldn't have. It was so wrong. He knew he had it bad._

"Here are your drinks." Matt said as he placed them down on the table. "Can I get you guys anything to eat? And don't worry its on the house today."

"On the house?" Damon asked offensively.

Matt bowed his head. "It's the least I can do." He murmured.

"What you can do is bring me two fucking cheeseburgers and a check. I don't need you buying me my lunch. I have plenty of money for that." His tone was harsh. Even Alaric was glaring at him to stop, but he didn't want to. All these years of Matt being a prick to him and now he was wallowing at his feet. This was his chance to return the favor. "And stop with your pity party. No one likes a fucking sap."

It went dead silent. If anything could make this moment for ideal in his eyes would be a whiskey on the rocks. The temptation was killing him to have another taste, but not with Alaric around. He knew better than that.

"I'm sorry." Matt said in the tiniest voice. "I just..."

Turning in his seat, Damon stared up at him with hot rage. "You thought what? Because she's gone you owe me this. Well you don't owe me anything. I got the girl, remember? Maybe if you had half the brains you do now back then you would have treated her a whole lot better." Damon barked.

"Damon…" Alaric stated his name. It was his cue to end his rant, but he couldn't. He was so worked up right now.

"And you're right about one thing. You didn't make her happy. That's why she broke up with you." He spat, watching Matt take every last word he had to say to him like the sorry ass he was. "But even that couldn't get through your thick head. Instead you blamed me for every fucking thing. You're a piece of shit for what you did. You're lucky I never broke your neck for what you said to me half the time."

"Damon!" Alaric yelled. "We're leaving."

"Already gone." Damon smirked and kicked the table.

Utterly stunned by the hateful speech he was just served, Matt remained still as he stomped out of the bar and threw the door open. Alaric was quick to follow. The sun was beating down on him and his mouth was dry. He felt like he was in blackout rage.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Alaric shouted.

"Is that even a question right now?" Damon retaliated.

"You're acting like a complete asshole." He shook his head. "You're acting like you use to three years ago. I swear to God Damon if you're lying to me about this whole sober thing, I'll have your ass for this."

"I'm not lying!" He screamed. His hands were balled into fists.

"I mean it. No more games. If I find out you've been lying to me or if you even touch a drop of alcohol you'll be finding yourself reunited with Elena a lot sooner than you think." Alaric threatened.

"Good!" Damon stepped toward him. "At least I won't have to go on living like this. I much rather be dead."

The words left his mouth like something vile. Alaric's face sunk as he heard his declaration. Death was a touchy subject for them both. How they reacted toward it was different. Damon gritted his teeth and slapped the wall of the bar. He was losing it and he was about to lose his friend if he wasn't careful.

"I wish Elena were here right now," he lowered his voice. His finger jabbed him in the chest. "Not to bring you back from this fucking shit show you've been pulling on these past few days, but to fucking kick your ass. Don't you ever say that again. What happened wasn't your fault. Her death was an accident. Do you hear me?"

Alaric was gripping his shoulders. He hated hearing her name. He hated talking about her.

"I don't need anyone else I care about gone. I've already lost too many." Alaric's voice shook.

"Unless God strikes me now, I'm not going anywhere." Damon uttered yanking himself away. "I'll see you a week from today. Same spot."

Not turning to look back or even wanting to look back, he pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants and walked away. He couldn't bear to see Alaric like this. He knew he wasn't the only one grieving. He just hated having to bring up the subject all the time. Still fresh, Damon was too sensitive to the topic. What he had pulled today was a shit show. He knew how much of a dick he had made himself to Matt and Ric. Both of them were only trying to be supportive and yet he pushed them away.

If anything, he wished Alaric's statement would come true. He needed Elena to kick his ass because he was already slipping away.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: This update came very close to being a day late. I apologize for not updating this until late tonight (Sunday). I've been pretty busy this weekend and I forewarn that there might be a few Sundays in the future that might prevent me from updating on time. Sorry in advance. Thank you for the reviews on Chapter 8. A "twist" for this story is still happening and I will be slowly introducing it soon. I got some concerns directed my way about it and I just wanted to address that. Don't worry it's still happening. Anyways, enjoy and leave your review after you read. **

* * *

CHAPTER 9.

Five days later...

Beep. Beep. Beep. The round alarm clock with time of 6:30 a.m. screeched through his hollow bedroom and heart. Groggy, tired, and slightly feeling the after effects of finishing a bottle of bourbon from the night before were making this morning all the more difficult. He swore after his stint with Absinthe he would never touch a drop of alcohol again, but that was four nights ago. Each night as the bottle went dry and he hunched over his desk in his study he promised it would be the last. The next three following nights proved differently.

Addiction was in his veins. He couldn't escape it. The love for the bottle was consuming him all over again and he didn't want it to end. It was his crutch, his love because nothing could suffice to feeling happy again.

With a deep breath he swung his legs over the bed and gripped the edge of the mattress. The dark shades were drawn not wishing to let in the sunlight yet. His bare feet shivered as it touched the hardwood floor and he sighed. Not daring to look over his shoulder to remind himself of the depressing truth that his bed was empty, Damon forced himself to rise. He had been dreading this day.

An immediate leave of absence from work was put into effect at moment's notice of her death. Damon could still hear the phone call of the female police officer's cold voice regretting to inform him of what had happened. Reliving that moment in his memory made his heart fall into his stomach again swirling around the contents of what was in it. He swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut forcing the bile back down that was rising in his throat like it had almost over a week ago. He was never the type to react in such a physical manner such as getting sick. It was rare even for the amount he used to drink and continued to do. Now, it was the reaction his body succumbed to because that's how dramatic it felt. He was sick to his stomach thinking about it.

Shaking his head and washing away the image of sorrow, he walked slowly and with little energy over to his closet. He flipped on the switch and the pain stabbed and cut his chest harder than he wanted it to. His intentions upon entering were not to be hurt by the image of her clothes still hanging. It was to retrieve his neatly piled work out clothes and to get his life back on track. However, it seemed next to impossible as every thread and piece of cloth brought him spiraling down. Even when he thought he was taking one-step forward, something always made him take two steps back. Days had passed since he even found his way into the closet they shared. He was aware her things were around, but it didn't occur to him how much of an affect it would have on him. Snatching up his gym shorts, t-shirt, and running shoes, Damon walked briskly to the bathroom. He slammed it shut behind him and heaved over the sink.

"God damn it." He swore and spat into the marble sink.

This constant loop of her wouldn't end. He was trying so hard to move on, but it seemed like the universe just wouldn't let him let go. He needed to. The thing was he didn't want to though. And the trying part, he knew he was failing miserably doing that too.

Looking up at the dark circles under his eyes, he shook his head in disgust. He hated the man he was turning back into, but couldn't resist him either. An eternal battle continued on with in. Damon crashed his palm down on the marble counter top and grunted. Breathing in and out like a raged bull, he told himself today was the day he would change. No more crying, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more drinking. He would move on. He would live today like he had many times before.

* * *

_The mid-afternoon breeze felt refreshing upon his exposed and moist skin as he pumped his arms back and forth while his legs carried him further down the paved path. Damon released huffs of breaths feeling the heavy air on his lungs. The burning sensation in his calves and thighs indicated he was pushing his limit for the day, but was refusing to stop. He had an image to maintain and quitting wasn't going to help. Every stride he took strengthened his core and defeated the extra calories he absorbed due to his excess intake on a daily basis._

_Damon pushed himself harder and his pace quickened. The music blaring in his ear buds filled his head with lyrics of rock song and he focused on the pavement ahead. Only a little bit further and he could be done, but it was easier said than done. His night had not been anything out of the ordinary, but was making it a bit more difficult than it should. Most mornings after drinking close to or exactly a fifth of whiskey he could function and force his ass out the door for his early morning run, however this morning he was struggling. He would give anything to be lying in his bed for an extra hour before heading off to work. Instead he was running and sweating profusely reeking of alcohol. It was making him queasy._

_Flashes of over a dozen shots being consumed and mixed drinks disappearing in rapid succession appeared in his thoughts. Last night he had over done in it and now he was paying for it. His workout was being jeopardized because he just couldn't say no to another drink or shot. It was next to impossible to. He couldn't stop himself._

_Only a few more feet and he reach his checkpoint for cool down. He could do this. Finding the last ounce of adrenaline he could at 6:30 in the morning he sprinted. His feet reached the invisible finish line and he slowed down. Every thing ached and he bent over panting feeling his head go heavy and his body swayed for a second._

_God did he feel like utter shit. He couldn't complain though, he had done it to himself._

_Pressure on his shoulder sent him jumping up and startled as he realized he wasn't alone. One of his ear buds ripped from his ear and if he couldn't already move from his intensive workout, he was immobile now. It has been about two weeks since he last encountered her and now here she stood before him._

_"You okay?" Her concern for a fellow runner turned quickly to shock. Even he saw the recognition on her face of whom she was talking to._

_Ever since his night of failure, he had not attempted to see her again. Realizing how pathetic it was to try to grab her attention that night and being shot down had sent him a clear message to just give up. Despite her beautiful assets, Damon knew she wasn't worth the trouble when he had plenty of other options willing to throw themselves at him. However, that didn't stop him from fantasizing from time to time._

_"Um," she removed one her ear buds and swallowed hard. "Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine." Damon replied._

_Just when he was finally forgetting about her she stood before him taunting him with her clingy running jacket and tight ass shorts. Why did she make effortless look so good?_

_The awkward tension set in quickly as they were both at a loss for words. Both recognizing the other, they were left unsure what to say. Was this a coincidence or was life just being a bitch reminding him of what he really wanted? Damon wiped the sweat off his forehead._

_"Who's stalking who now?" He cracked under the pressure to speak and recalled her questioning him at the bar that night. _

_Elena shook her head and smirked. "I'm not stalking you." She said defensively._

_"Oh really? I run this path every morning, 6:30 sharp. Never seen you around before." Damon spoke placing his hands on his hips. Slowly his stability was returning._

_"That's because I just started running here...today." Elena told him._

_"Likely story." He smirked._

_Tightening her ponytail and placing her loose headphone back into her ear, she licked her lips and glared her eyes in his direction. "I saw you leaning over in what looked like pain. I'm sorry I bothered you." She shrugged her shoulders. "Seeing as you're fine, I'll be on my way."_

_Her feet tapped against the pavement and Damon realized once again she was retreating from him. The sarcasm he condoned seemed to only make her bitter. He knew exactly at that moment he was making an ass of himself and what he was about to do could make him even more of an ass, but he couldn't help it. Grabbing her arm, she whipped around appearing startled and annoyed._

_"Excuse me." Elena snapped._

_"I'm sorry." He apologized and removed his hand from her thin arm._

_Elena sighed. Agitation was written all over her face._

_"Look, the other night..." Damon explained and paused. He was so out of his element. What he was doing with her was way out of his league. "I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression. I just, I just liked talking to you earlier. I'm sorry if I came off too strong."_

_"I have a boyfriend." Elena deliberately stated._

_The response given caught him off guard. He was apologizing in the simplest of terms. If he gave her the real reason why he sought after her that night he was sure she bolt in disgust, although her inquiry of him wasn't far off. Maybe he was more lucid than he thought._

_"Okay." He nodded his head and stepped back. "Forget it then."_

_He knew from leaving the bar that night she was a lost cause. A pretty girl like herself was already claimed and this guy of hers seemed like a first rate jackass from what he saw. Damon bit his tongue from slipping his personal thoughts about her boyfriend before he made the situation any worse._

_Turning around, he took off in a nice jog. His body ached and begged for him to walk, but he needed to get away from her before he said something he would regret. Barely knowing her at all, he felt it was his place somehow to dictate who she dated. She deserved better and any person who saw her tool of a boyfriend that night would probably agree. He seemed controlling, but who was he to judge. His life wasn't nearly as put together as most and his actions were anything but classy._

_Behind him he swore he heard the sound of someone following him. Before he could look over his shoulder to see who it was, convinced it wouldn't be Elena, brown hair, olive skin, and doe like eyes were filling his gaze._

_"Hey!" She shouted._

_Damon slowed down and sated at her. She bit her lower lip and glanced around like she was searching for something to say._

_"Maybe I came off too strong." She said exhaling loudly. "Maybe I gave you the wrong impression."_

_"What?" Damon asked._

_"I liked talking to you too." Elena admitted. "And I know, especially at work I came come off the wrong way especially toward men."_

_Damon cocked his eyebrow._

_"I work at a bar where I wear small clothing. I'm fully aware what impression I can give off to most men. I'm sorry if I led you to believe I was interested." She explains only making him feel more stupid for ever chasing after her in the first place. "It's not the you're not good looking or charming or anything, it's just..."_

_Holding his hand up, he stopped her from rambling. "I get it. You were just doing your job." He said trying to get the bitter taste out of his mouth. "And no offense but I don't mess with beautiful girls like yourself and boyfriends. I like to keep my face intact."_

_That was a straight up lie. He lost count of how many girls he had fucked who weren't single. Keeping his distance after the hook up was what saved his ass. Hit it and leave it was his motto. He didn't need the drama, which was something he couldn't always avoid though. Plenty of times he had been graced by the fist of another man hitting his jaw because he found out he screwed his girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. Damon tried to keep that from happening though and seeking out only the young and single._

_The sound of her soft laughter brought him back from his guilt._

_"So you weren't trying to get with me then?" Elena asked curiously._

_Of course he was, but he wasn't about to tell her that. It appeared she was being more civil with him. He wasn't about to lose that. It seemed like it was a rare thing between them at the moment._

_"I came to say hi, maybe buy you a drink, and talk." Damon swayed the truth. "Honestly."_

_Elena peered her eyes at him. "I'm sorry." She smiled. "I overreacted. I was busy and Matt…"_

_It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who Matt was. He recalled her speaking to a man that night he saw her learning shortly after what his status with the girl he so deeply desired. Not only was he her boyfriend and a shitty one by the looks of it, but her boss as well. Somehow he couldn't imagine the two mixing well, but he remained mute on the matter._

_"I get it." He stopped her. "No need to explain. Let's just forget our little quarrel and start over. I'm Damon."_

_Extending his right hand for hers to take, she hesitated before accepting his gesture. Soft and tiny her hand fit into his grasp. He gave it a short squeeze and proceeded to let go. What he wanted was to pull her in and kiss those perfect lips, but he fought the urge to do so. They were on common grounds and he didn't want to mess it up._

_"Elena." She stated her name._

_"Well Elena, I wish I could stay and chat, but I have to get going. Don't want to be late for work." Damon nodded his head and smirked. "Hope to see you around."_

_"Take care." Her tone turned friendly and it was pleasing to hear._

_Before she took off though, he caught her staring. For a girl with a boyfriend he knew having wandering eyes were never a good sign, at least for the other person in the relationship. He welcomed this sign like the huge neon lit ones in Las Vegas. Something ignited in him and he gave her a small wave before facing the opposite direction and jogging slowly toward his home. Placing his headphones back into the nook of his ears, he skipped the current song playing and "Heat of the Moment" by Asia came blaring through the tiny speakers. The smirk upon his face grew and so did his pace. He couldn't find a more appropriate song to listen to at moment like this. Afterall, it did remind of that night at the bar and her sexy little outfit she was wearing._

* * *

Running his hands through his damp hair, Damon tried to breathe and prevent his hands and the rest of his body from constantly shaking. His morning run had been a struggle, but the ache in his muscles was a sign he could do this again. The old routine he had set was capable of returning despite the missing absence of her from some of his daily activities. He would just have to learn to live without her. He had done once more before even though he resented those days now.

The constant ringing of the receptionist phone from the hallway made him cringe. Even with his door shut he could still hear the normal noises of the corporate floor creeping into his office. Not to mention through the tiny barely closed shades he saw the curious and lingering eyes of those who passed. It was no surprise people were going to talk the moment he came back. Rushing into the building like hell on wheels, he tried to avoid making any conversation with his fellow co-workers knowing they would only want to apologize for what he had been through. He didn't need any more of that. The reminders had to stop. He was trying to move on.

Damon tapped his foot violently against the floor and he bit his lower lip hard trying to focus on his paperwork that had piled up over the past week, however one thing was on his mind. Throwing open his desk drawer he retrieved a set of keys and fumbled with them to open the locked drawer in his desk. His shaking was bad and he knew a way to settle it. The solution wasn't a healthy one, but it was the only thing he knew right now to cure it. He wanted this solution too.

Inside the locked drawer, he found his flask that he had filled from earlier in the morning. He told himself it was only for absolute necessary circumstances and right now the need for it grew more and more. Every time he thought he could quit his nasty habit, he found himself slipping farther into his past. The addict within him had awakened.

Bringing the flask to his trembling lips, he took a swig of it. The burning sensation eased him instantly and he relaxed in his chair. A knock on his door nearly made him jump out of his seat as he panicked to seal the flask up and threw it back into it's rightful place. Locking the drawer, he wiped his mouth and popped a mint in just enough time before whatever annoyance awaited him outside his office entered.

"Hey." Stefan said entering and closing the door behind him.

"Get out. I'm busy." Damon snapped.

"I can see you're in a chipper mood this morning." He replied.

"If you've come here to check up on me then beat it. I'm fine." His tone was anything but pleasant. "I showed up for work and I actually like to drown myself in it for once so if you don't mind showing yourself out."

"God you're an ass." Stefan remarked.

"And you're finally noticing this now?" Damon asked looking up at him. His hands were shuffling through piles of papers, but his mind was not rendering any bit of information that was written on them. He just wanted to appear busy to him so he would leave.

Stefan stepped deeper into his office and it made him tense. "I thought maybe you changed, but you'll always be same." He chuckled, but not in a humorous way.

"And you'll always be the pain in my ass little brother. Now please, if you just came up five stories to tell me something I don't already know then get the fuck out." He requested.

The perk of working in the same building as your family was not a perk at all. It had been almost three years since Stefan found his job after graduate school five levels below his office. Both working in different fields it kept them separated but close. He remembered a time when he looked forward to grabbing lunch with him knowing he loathed most of his co-workers. Stefan was the only one he could tolerate for more than an hour discussing every thing under the sun. Those were the days and the only reason he even enjoyed them was because of her. She helped them reconnect and now he felt that slipping away too.

"I came to ask you if you wanted to go to lunch?" His brother asked.

"I rather eat alone, thank you." He responded.

"Okay, knock it off!" Stefan shouted. They both froze knowing people outside his office were probably listening now. He walked closer to his desk and dropped his voice. "I'm sick and tired of this. I'm done feeling sorry for you because clearly you're doing enough of that on your own."

"What is that suppose to mean?" Damon questioned him.

"You know what I mean." Stefan growled. "Don't think I don't know what's going on. Some people may not see it, but I do. I'm your brother. I know when you're not taking care of yourself."

"I showered. I worked out. I'm as good as it gets after everything that has happened." He barked slamming the papers down on his desk.

Shaking his head, he spoke, "That's not what I'm getting at."

"Then what are you getting at?" His blood was boiling. It took every thing in his not to punch his brother square in the face.

"I think you know exactly what I'm getting at." Stefan said firmly. "Or shall we take a Breathalyzer right now and prove my point?"

"Fuck off!" Damon shouted and pushed himself back in his seat.

"I know what you've been doing. You may be fooling Ric, but not me." He snarled.

"And how are you so sure baby bro?" He asked.

"Blood shot eyes. You looked wrecked and not because you had a good work out." Stefan listed off. "And I can smell it. Bourbon was always your drink of choice."

Flinging up from his chair, Damon grabbed Stefan's collar. He heaved and contemplated giving him a black eye, but he didn't want to start rumors knowing he would leave the office with one. His emotions were mixed with hatred for his brother knowing what he had done and was doing, but also hatred toward himself. As careful as he thought he was, it was obvious he couldn't hide his addiction. Was Alaric playing dumb with him? Did he know too that he drinking on a daily basis again too? His last meeting he thought he had successfully won, but now he wasn't so sure after all.

"What are you going to do? Are you going to call up Ric and tell him I've gone down the deep end again and send my ass into rehab?" Damon asked trying to not sound desperate.

"I could." Stefan answered. "But I'm not."

"Great. Blackmail." He tossed him from his grasp. "Are you just waiting for the perfect moment to use it against then or what?"

"I'm not doing anything! No matter even if I tried to help you, its no use." Stefan sighed and his tone was almost sad. "The moment you picked up that drink after her funeral I knew you were a lost cause. I knew I was losing my big brother all over again."

Damon wished he stopped talking. The pain in his brother's eyes was awful and he hated to think he was causing it, but he didn't want to deal with this family shit at the moment. Walking away from Stefan, he shoved his hands in his pockets preventing him from reaching out to do anything drastic toward him again.

"You haven't lost me." He uttered.

"That's what you think." Stefan replied. "Look I'm not going to tell anyone even though I should. However, I want you to promise me you're done after today. If you need to get it all out of your system today than do it. Shit, I'll even buy you a drink myself, that is if you still want to come to lunch. I just need you to promise me you're done doing this to yourself. Please Damon."

The offer to feed into his addiction was so tempting. He would give anything for a drink right now and his own brother was offering it. This was dangerous though. He wanted to trust him, but he feared of Stefan running off after today and telling Alaric. The thought of AA meetings and possible rehab made his skin itch. There was only way he could go through with this without feeling like he was about to be stabbed in the back.

"Okay, you got a deal." Damon said offering his hand. "Let's shake on it."

Stefan gladly took his hand and shook it firmly. He forced a smile on his face and walked toward the door.

"I'll be back up here in two hours and we will go out for lunch." He told him.

"I'll meet you down in the lobby. No point in coming back up here." Damon said.

"I'll meet you back up here in two hours." Stefan repeated himself. "And I expect you to have every ounce of alcohol you have hidden in this office on your desk when I do return. You can drink it if you want since today is your last day, but I don't advise it."

Wanting to fight him on the matter, he kept silent.

"And if you don't clear out your office of _everything, _I'll know." His brother threatened. He was beyond serious and it was a side of him Damon rarely saw. It reminded him a lot of his father. Stefan upheld his qualities and mannerisms almost too much.

The door to his office shut and Damon instantly reopened the lock drawer.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thank you, thank you for the lovely reviews on Chapter 9. Finally decided on how the twist is going to play out for this story and the next chapter after this one will introduce it briefly. Get ready for a somewhat steamy scene between Elena and Damon in a flashback during this chapter. I listened to Katy Perry's "Dark Horse" while writing it so I recommend you do the same. Leave me your thoughts in a review. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

CHAPTER 10.

With only a slight buzz going and quickly fading, Damon hoped his lunch with Stefan wouldn't be too disastrous. They walked down a block to a small bistro wafting its aroma of pressed sandwiches and soups out on to the streets of the people passing by. His stomach growled and he couldn't wait to scarf down some food.

Finding a table, they sat down and he immediately picked up the drink menu. If Stefan was offering to indulge in his addiction agreeing upon it being his absolute last day of destruction than he was going to hold him to it. His eyes scanned the wine list and searched for something more his style. When he didn't find it, he slapped the menu on the table and stared at his brother.

"All they have to drink is wine." Damon whined.

"I didn't say I was going to buy you what you liked." Stefan said not looking up from his menu. "And I happen to like wine."

"Prick. I should have known it was too good to be true." He replied scanning the list for something that sounded good. Nothing sparked his interest.

An elderly woman approached their table. She was dressed in all black and her hair was pinned back. Her name tag read, Martha and he desperately searched for something to drink. He couldn't make up his mind. When it came to wine he was lost.

"What I can I get you gentlemen to drink?" She asked.

"Can I get a glass of Merlot for myself and a friend who will be joining us soon?" Stefan requested.

"You?" The waitress directed it toward him.

Damon glared at his brother with the information he just learned. A friend? What friend was this and were they going to get him in trouble? Maybe this was a set up all along.

"Water, thank you." Damon smacked the menu down and the waitress walked away. "When were you going to tell me about our lunch date was turning into a threesome?"

"Now because I knew you wouldn't come if I told you beforehand." Stefan answered.

"And why is that? Who is this person?" He asked.

Just as he asked the question, it was answered. Through the glass doors walked in a tall blonde wearing nude pumps and a navy blue dress speaking to the hostess. Immediately he recognized her as Elena's best friend, Caroline. His stomach dropped.

"Caroline?!" Damon whispered. "No, I'm out."

"No, you're not." His brother grabbed his hand. "Unless you do want me to spill the beans to your buddy Alaric. I don't think you want that, do you?"

It was either be busted or have his ear talked off on topics he could careless about or didn't want to discuss. Both seemed equally painful, but the thought of being outted wasn't ideal. Damon noticed Caroline waving at their table and Stefan straightened up.

"When did you and Forbes become friends anyways?" Damon questioned his brother.

"We've been connecting," he murmured. "She needed a shoulder to cry on and I lent it to her. It sort of just evolved from that."

His face smashed together in disgust and he rolled around in his chair. Diverting his eyes back and forth between Stefan and Caroline, he inquired the obvious.

"Oh no, tell me it didn't evolve into you putting your dick in her?" He raised his suspicion while being utterly disgusted.

Judging by Stefan's reaction to his comment it had. As Caroline bee lined for the restroom it left him more time to catch up on his little brother's life that had become quite interesting. Stefan shuffled in his chair and their drinks arrived. The taste of water was bland and he wished he had anything but water in front of him to drink.

"Caroline and I are just friends." Stefan stated sipping his Merlot.

"With benefits." Damon added.

"Fine. We've been hooking up, but it's only happened like twice." He confessed. "And you will make no mention of this while she is here. Right now things are good between us."

"No offense, but Caroline really?"

Stefan glared at him. "She's actually very nice once you get to know her and she means well. Cut her some slack." He asked of him.

"I have for the past three years." Damon gritted through his teeth.

"And you will continue to do so." He demanded. "Caroline."

The clicking of her heels indicated their conversation was over. Never in a million years had he pictured Stefan and Caroline. Reserved and quiet was no match for the loud and out spoken Caroline, yet somehow the two worked in Stefan's tiny head. Damon observed them and watched them embrace shortly. The smile on Stefan's face was more than friendly. His brother was completely infatuated. He just wished it wasn't because of her.

"Damon." Her voice dropped and he stood up straightening his shirt. "How have you been?"

"Been better." He uttered.

Her face fell and pulled him into a hug. The last time he saw her was at the funeral. It was pleasant not to see her cheeks tear stained for once. He had been the one to break the bad news to her. He had been the one who she embraced the day of the funeral before anyone else arrived. For the first time in his years of knowing her, he didn't loath her in those moments. He simply accepted her as Elena's broken hearted best friend. In the end they both loved her equally. But that was then, and even though it wasn't long ago, he had come back full circle to having a great dislike for her.

"You reek of bourbon." Caroline stated and pushed him away. "You reek of bourbon! What the hell?"

"Here we go." Damon rolled his eyes and sat back down.

"Caroline, let me explain." His brother tried to calm the situation. It wasn't working.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You've been drinking again?" She scowled him. Her body towered his in disapproval. "After everything Elena did for you, this is how you repay her?"

"It's not what you think." Stefan interrupted.

Stomping her foot, Caroline shouted, "Don't defend him. As his brother you should be sending him straight to recovery. Don't you care that he's drinking again?" Thankfully no one else was in the bistro with them. She was already causing a scene that no one needed to see or hear.

"Please continue, Caroline. I love to hear more of what you think about me." Damon murmured under his breath.

"You're disgusting." Caroline said distastefully. "You think this is a joke."

"No!" He flew up from his seat and got in her face. "I don't think any of this is a joke. Do you see me laughing? I don't think so. Why don't you take your nose and stick it somewhere else for once."

"I stick my nose where it belongs thank you. And I think I have every right to be upset about this considering you were my best friends fiancé, who happened to care if you drank or not!" She yelled back at him. "I wish she was here right now to see the low life you've always been."

"Well she's not because she's dead." Damon spat. He knew how sensitive this had become and they were both filled with emotional energy. Tears began to well in Caroline's eyes and he should have stopped, but instead he continued to scream. "Dead! I said it, DEAD. And because Elena is dead is the reason why I've become the low life you think I am again. Congratulations Caroline you've successfully passed at stating the obvious...you fucking bitch."

His last words were the final straw. Caroline busted into tears and ran out the door. He regretted it the moment he said it, but was too stunned to even move. Rising from his chair, Stefan mumbled something to him and chased after her. He plopped back in his seat and held his head in his hands. Him and Caroline had not fought like this in years. They had their disagreements, but never got into screaming matches like this. The first time they had it fought was even before him and Elena had started dating. He remembered that night well.

_The drinks were flowing and the music was pulsing in the swanky club Damon found him in for the night. His hips grinded and swayed to the music as a beautiful girl danced in front of him. He had done this every night in hopes of erasing his mind of one thing, Elena. Like an artifact in a museum she was too beautiful to touch. He could only look and it killed him, so naturally he tried to forget about her all together. Girl after girl he made out with and fucked them in different places to get his mind off things. He even changed his route for running hoping to not see her before work. It was the only way to shake this feeling he had for her._

_A tap on his shoulder interrupted his steamy dance and he looked to see who it was. Tired and angry, Stefan stood with his phone in his hand._

_"You called?" He asked furiously._

_In the front pocket of his jeans he saw his phone. Taking it out, he noticed he had been mistakenly dialing his brother's number all night. He had to blame the girl grinding on his junk for that._

_"Accident. Sorry." Damon yelled._

_"You should go home." Stefan insisted. "You look trashed."_

_"I'm fine." He denied the request to leave. "I feel great. Maybe instead of leaving you should stay. Enjoy the night."_

_"No way. Come on let's go." His brother tugged on his arm. _

_It happened all so fast. The girl dancing on him was knocked to the ground as he tore his arm away. Stefan stumbled back and eyes from around the dance floor stopped upon the commotion. He may have been wasted, but he was still smart enough to know not to cause a scene. A large man stomped his way toward them and he bent down to help the girl._

_"You okay?" The bouncer asked her handing her to another muscular man guiding her away. She nodded her head and a glazed expression spread upon her face. Drunk and oblivious, she left. "Which one of you did it?"_

_"He did." Damon spat._

_Throwing his own brother under the bus for something he hadn't intentionally done was low. She merely had been in the way as his arm swung out to rid him of Stefan's grasp. However, him showing up had ruined his mood and he was pissed. To blame him meant only one thing._

_"You." The bouncer pointed at Stefan. "Out."_

_"You son of a bitch." Stefan yelled. "It wasn't me. I didn't do anything."_

_Much like the girl he was being led away, but by force. The toleration for fights or being too aggressive with girls was not allowed here and a brief smirk lifted upon his cheeks as he watched his innocent brother being kicked out he bar. Feeling pity for the downfall that just happened Damon knew how to get rid of the guilty conscious he was growing. The bar was the only thing on his mind._

_Taking a few drunken steps off the dance floor and toward the crowded bar, he stopped dead in his tracks. Were his eyes deceiving him or was he really starring at the perfectly formed ass he had been trying to forget? She turned her face to the side and the brightest, most lively smile was plastered on her face. Immediate betrayal took over his body as he felt every muscle tighten and his dick harden. In dark jeans and a top that led him only to believe she wasn't wearing a bra, he wanted to devour her. However, as much as he enjoyed the image of her losing every article of clothing, he halted his dirty mind. She was forbidden. That didn't stop him though in his altered state of mind to still approach her._

_"Elena, we have to stop meeting like this." _

_Her hair tossed over her shoulder and her smiled faded the slightest bit as she discovered his presence. A blonde girl stood next to her staring at him with curiosity and hunger._

_"Uh, Damon." She said stunned. "What are, what are you doing here?" _

_"Just enjoying a night out on the town." He smirked. _

_"I can see that." Elena nodded her head._

_Was it that obvious he was trashed? He ran his hand through his hair and tried to seem less intoxicated._ _"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked in hopes of not being turned down._

_A soft chuckle came from the blonde girl attached to her side and she rolled her eyes. Whatever her reaction was to his question, he tried to ignore it._

_"I'm good." She answered. _

_"Oh come on, just one." Damon begged._

_"She said no." The girl barked next to her._

_"Caroline." Elena stated in annoyance. Putting a name and a face together he realized the girl standing next to her had been the same trashed, incoherent girl the night they had first met. Tonight she seemed less of a nuisance, but still making her presence known. "Sorry."_

_"I can take a hint." He responded._

_Every ounce of him pretended to not care and not be offended by his turn down, but he was. He moved pass them showing disinterest, a tactic he liked to use when girls gave him the cold shoulder initially. Ordering his drink, he counted to ten in his head before he heard the small voice belonging to her say his name. A wicked smile spread across his face knowing his tactic had worked._

_"Damon." She stated. Turning around, he saw only her. Wherever her friend had gone she wasn't close by. He was thankful knowing Elena had probably sent her away. Even in a bar full of people, he felt like it was only just them. "I'm sorry about Caroline. She sometimes forgets how to keep her thoughts to herself."_

_"It's fine." Damon replied._

_The sweetest, shyest smile blossomed from cheek to cheek. She was the epitome of beautiful._

_"Are you sure you need that?" Elena asked looking down at the drink that was now in his hand. "You seem like you're…"_

_"Drunk." He finished her sentence. "No not at all."_

_"Sorry, I don't usually go out much and when I do I'm usually playing the mom role." She explained. "You know make sure everyone is okay and doesn't do anything stupid."_

_"That doesn't sound fun." Damon said. "You haven't lived if you haven't done something stupid." _

_Elena shrugged her shoulders. "Someone has got to do it. I don't mind." She looked over her shoulder. "Which, by the way, I should probably go make sure Caroline doesn't get herself into too much trouble on the dance floor."_

_"I'll walk with you." He suggested. "I'm headed that way myself."_

_His eyes roamed the bar for the jock she called her boyfriend. He was waiting for the prime moment for him to show up and try to knock him square in the face for simply talking to his girlfriend. However, he did not see him anywhere._

_With Elena not far behind, they both made their way on to the dance floor reaching the center were the heart of intoxication took place. So many sweaty bodies and borderline sexual actions were taking place. Damon gulped down his drink fast and placed in the hand of some drunken girl passing by._

_"Do you see her anywhere?" Elena shouted near his ear._

_"No." He answered. Something dared him to take the risky move he desired so badly to do. He knew better, but he didn't know the next chance he would get with her like this. "So where is your boy toy?"_

_"Working." She told him. Her attention wasn't upon him, but the crowd of people._

_The beating of his heart in his chest almost made him lose his balance. He was actually nervous about this. Why was he nervous? She was just another girl or was she? Stepping in front of her, he witnessed her go into immediate recoil and tried to back away._

_"Forget Caroline." Damon demanded. "You told me you're always worrying about others when you're out. Why don't you take five minutes of your night to just have fun." _

_"But…" She argued, but he cut her off._

_"Not buts." He shook his head. "Just take five minutes, it's all I ask and focus on yourself. Do something for you for once in your life."_

_It was taking a lot to convince her to do this. She wasn't easily swayed and he wished she could be. However, he was beginning to realize why he was attracted to her so much. Elena was a challenge. Unlike the girls he usually ended up with night after night, she didn't fall for his spell. She resisted and denied him. It was all so new and something aroused him thinking about the chase. Damon knew he couldn't give up._

_"Come on." Damon pleaded moving his shoulders to the beat of the song. _

_Elena stared at him as he tried to not make himself appear as a fool before her. She bowed her head and he appeared embarrassed. Why was it so hard for her to just let go? Feeling free and high on life, he continued to move and he grabbed her hand. The look she shot him warned him she wasn't comfortable with what he was doing._

_"Sorry," he held his hand up. "I just want you to have fun. You don't look like you're having any fun at all." _

_"I'm just worried about Caroline." Elena answered._

_"Caroline is a big girl and I'm sure she can take care of herself." Damon insisted. "Just one song. Please."_

_Clenching her jaw, Elena looked around the dance floor and bit her lower lip hard. Her head bobbed slowly to the pulsing beat of the song playing through the loud speakers. A smirk cracked upon his face at the sight of her unfolding before him. Steadily, the rest of her body began to move and he loved seeing her dance to the music. Her body was perfect and it was glorious in this light as she closed her eyes and lost herself in the music. _

_Damon was cautious closing in some distance between them. He understood perfectly she was not comfortable dancing with him in any sensual way, but he had every intention of changing that. Both facing each other, Elena laughed as she danced. Soon she was singing a long with the lyrics. Watching carefully his vision fell to her lips. The desire to kiss them was so strong, but he resisted. Just being only inches apart he was fully enjoying himself and her dancing. Not touching, but not ignoring the electricity they were forming between them in the empty space between was quite a turn on._

_As the end of the song faded into a new one with a low bass, he noticed she didn't stop. In fact, Elena was becoming consumed by the beat and he realized it wasn't him closing in the distance between, but she was. Whether it was intentional or not, he wasn't complaining and he wasn't stopping her. Damon tried his very best to keep his hands at his side. Her hair bounced over her shoulders and his gaze fell down to the cleavage she was bearing. Suddenly, his mouth grew dry and he felt the constriction of his pants. She was such a tease._

_This was torture not being able to reach out and grab her. He wanted to grind up on her and show her the time of her life, but he told himself to hold back. Just the mere fact that she was even dancing, let alone with him was more than he could have ever imagined from her. Then it happened. She rolling her body and circling her hips creating contact. His hands like an initial reaction went to her hips and she didn't pull away. This trance she was in was hot. He couldn't even blame liquor for her actions right now. Elena was sober and dancing on him. It was bliss. _

_His fingers gripped her hips as she rolled them into his and as he brought his stare from their lower bodies up, he saw how close they really were. All he had to do was move an inch forward and they would be kissing. The feeling of her arms snaking around his neck and resting on his shoulders made it even harder to not act upon his deep desires. God, he was getting a raging boner from this._

_"Elena!" The sound of Caroline's shrill voice brought from them out of their heated and steamy state of mind. Jumping off him, she breathed heavily and placed her hand to her forehead. "What are you doing?"_

_"I…I don't know." She answered shaking her head. Her eyes darted back at him and he held his breath. "I have a boyfriend. Oh my God."_

_"Elena." Caroline stated her name again._

_"I'm sorry. I have to go." Elena told him and ran off the dance floor leaving him confused and in extreme discomfort from his erection behind the material of his jeans._

_"Wait," he shouted after her, but was blocked from doing so. A hand pushed against his chest and her blonde friend was standing in front of him looking ready to explode._

_"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Caroline yelled. "She has a boyfriend."_

_Damon rolled his eyes. "It takes two to tango, honey." He told her._

_"I don't care. She has one and she shouldn't be dancing with _you_." She warned him tossing her hair over her shoulder._

_"I was showing her a good time. Calm down, blondie." Damon's tone was bitter. "God forbidden your friend have fun instead of following you around making sure you don't do something stupid."_

_"You're a douche." Caroline snapped. "Just stay away."_

_"Or what?" He challenged her._

_"Or you'll end up with a black eye and probably a trip to the hospital." She smirked._

_"Unless you're packing underneath that barely there dress you're wearing, I think I'll be okay." Damon laughed._

_She stepped closer and pointed her finger in his face. "Not me, but Elena's boyfriend." Caroline threatened._

_"I'm so scared." He joked._

_What came next he didn't think he deserved, but Elena's friend was feeling feisty and so the stinging pain on his cheek from her hand slapping his face made him boil with fury. Stretching out his jaw, he tried to keep himself composed. The only thing he could think of doing was swearing and so the word, "bitch" left his mouth resulting in Caroline storming off. He scanned around the dance floor to see how many people had just witnessed that. Only a few were staring and he turned on his heel to go the opposite way of her. He had to get out of here before he completely lost it. _

_Stumbling off the dance floor, he made his way to the back entrance and felt the cool air of the alley way strike his warm cheek. He leaned up against the building and pounded the brick. They had been seconds away from kissing, he knew it. Whatever magnetic force that brought them together tonight, not only just at the same place and at the same time, but what had happened on that dance floor made him believe that maybe this wasn't just chance. Maybe his infatuation with her was more than a hardcore crush. Something ignited in him. He knew he could draw her out farther. It would only take time._

* * *

Still fuming from his argument, he glared to the left of him and out of the windows where his brother and Caroline stood talking. Her hair was hanging in front of her face as she shook it back and forth. Her shoulders bobbed up and down at the sign of her crying. Elena would have never tolerated this and he knew immediately that he needed to apologize even if he didn't want to.

Getting up from his chair, he made his slow strides to the door. He had to fix his mistake.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Sorry for the delay on this chapter. Updates usually happen on Sundays, and last Sunday I was busy. Plus, I didn't have time last week to write as much. This week I much more time and should get regular updates back on time for this story and Black Out. This is the chapter you'll finally get some tiny insight into the "twist" of the story. Hope you guys like it. Please leave me your thoughts in a review and thanks for reading.**

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_**Fifty Shades of Salvatore Fanfic Series Fans! **_

**Fifty Shades Immortal will be debuting at the end of this month. I've started to write the first chapter. A teaser trailer is already up on YouTube. Go check it out. Follow me on Twitter at MystFallsFanfic and FSOSfansite for more news on FSI. Also, FSOS is now available for download to your Kindle, Nook, iPad, etc. The link is in my profile. Enjoy!**

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CHAPTER 11.

Her back was facing him as he watched his brother caress the clearly upset Caroline. The piercing eyes belonging to his baby brother only meant one thing: apologize and he knew he needed to. Taking a few steps closer cautiously knowing the sort of storm Caroline could create when within her path, he cleared his throat.

"I do hope you came out here to apologize brother." Stefan barked.

"I'm sorry." He uttered.

Nothing. Caroline remained turned away, while Stefan rolled his eyes.

"With more meaning." His brother ordered.

Sighing, Damon pushed his hands into his pockets. "Caroline, I'm sorry. What I said was completely uncalled for. I'm an ass, but you already knew that." He shook his head.

Her swollen red eyes appeared and he hated to see her like this. Seeing any girl cry made him feel awful, even Caroline. She approached him slowly and he waited for the palm of her hand to come swiping at his face. Never the one to fail at making her feelings known, he prepared for her wrath.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" She asked.

"What?" Damon responded shocked at how calm she was.

"You may be an ass, but you're not hopeless or heartless." Caroline stated. "How could you give up every thing you worked so hard to become and throw it all away?"

This side of Caroline was a bit alarming. When it came to any topic pertaining to him only bitterness rolled off her tongue, whether it was speaking about him or to him. Now she was calm and showing empathy. He glanced at Stefan who shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't understand." He mumbled.

"No, I don't. I don't know what it's like to suffer from an addiction." She spoke trying hard not to raise her voice at him. "But I do know that you were willing to make a commitment to my best friend. That's why you asked her to marry you, right?"

Pain struck his entire body thinking of her. Any mention of Elena now did this, but the thought of a wedding that was never going to happen really killed him. He remained composed, but Caroline was digging deep.

"And you were ready to make a vow that you would do anything for her no matter what." She continued.

"I don't need a vow to make that known." Damon spat. "I do anything for her anyways."

"Then what are you doing, Damon?" A tear fell from Caroline's eye. "You did it once before. You're better than this. You don't need alcohol. You think you do, but you don't. Elena proved to you that you could resist temptation. Prove it again."

"It's not that simple." He lowered his voice and looked away.

He had always been fucked up in the head and Elena's death had confirmed how fucked up he truly was. It didn't occur to him her life would be taken so soon and so drastically. He never imagined having to struggle again, but without her by his side it seemed impossible to stay strong. Didn't she know the only reason he was still standing was because of her? Gone into the another world, he felt lost without her guidance.

"Man up Salvatore!" Caroline stated firmly. "You can. Elena may not be with us anymore, but I refuse to watch her work go down the drain. You will fight this and you will stop drinking or so help me God..."

"Caroline." Stefan came up and touched her shoulder. She was shaking and he saw how mad she had become talking about this. He hadn't realized that his decision would do this to her. "Let's go back inside and eat."

"I need a drink." She moaned and her eyes darted back to him. "Great, the reformed alcoholic has led me to drink."

"Come on." Stefan begged her to follow him inside.

Leaving them to head in first, Damon stayed outside attempting to calm down. He hated how much people cared about his well being. Most of his life all he cared about was himself, until she came along. Bringing him into a new light, he opened his eyes to see the sort of impact he had made and was making on those around him. Elena was a breath of fresh air. He felt reborn with her and now he felt didn't know how to feel. Numb and lost were the only two things he could understand.

Every thing Caroline had said though was right. He promised he would do anything for her. He go to the ends of the Earth for her and yet he couldn't do the one thing he swore to rid. Completely disgusted with himself, Damon knew he had to kick his old habit again and for good, but he couldn't do this alone. It killed him to ask for help.

Feeling more relaxed, he turned to head back into the bistro. As he turned, his body collided with someone and he stumbled forward.

"Sorry." Her tiny voice apologized.

"You're fine." Damon responded brushing his hands down his suit.

Short and petite, the brunette girl with a dark complexion dropped her eyes to the ground and quickly walked through the doors. He peered his stare rendering the idea he had seen her before. For all he knew she could have been a one night stand back in his carefree days. He had been with a lot of women prior to Elena. He could only assume that was why he recognized her.

Walking in behind, she darted for a table in the back corner. She was an odd little thing, but he didn't care to wonder what her deal was. He had to go back to facing his brother and Caroline on this lovely afternoon.

"I ordered you a ham and cheese panini." Stefan said as he sat down. "We are running a bit short on time so I figured I speed up the process."

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "I'm not really that hungry anymore."

As Caroline sipped her wine greedily, she nearly spat it back out in her glass. She leaned to her right looking past him and directly at the back corner where the girl who had run into him was sitting.

"What's she doing here?" Caroline whispered loudly.

"Who?" His brother asked.

The complaining never ended when it came to her. Trying to tune the sound of her voice out, he found himself being drawn in at the mention of Elena's name.

"I never understood why Elena even talked to her." She said disgusted.

"Wait, what?" Damon questioned her statement.

Spinning around, it was obvious three sets of eyes were upon the girl in the far corner. Was that how he remembered her? Was she with Elena before? It was hard to tell considering part of their relationship prior to being exclusive was mostly under the influence for him. Some of that time was a blur, while the memories he really wanted to remember stayed with him; all the good and even the bad. Little reminders of what he had been, what he was becoming again.

"I guess she use to come into her work from time to time. They talked." Caroline filled him in vaguely.

"That hardly sounds like a crime, blondie." Damon snapped still glaring at the girl.

"You staring at her like she is a flashing neon sign is though." She hissed through her teeth and nudged his shoulder. Breaking his stare, he turned to face his brother and Caroline. "It wasn't just talking. When it came to _that girl _Elena became...weird."

"Weird?" He repeated her word choice.

Leaning forward in her chair, she had his full attention. Caroline shook her blonde locks and proceeded to share, "Like weird, weird." She mumbled and cleared her throat. "Her name is Bonnie, but lot of people around here refer to her as Bon Bon. Rumor has it she was in a psych ward for a few years."

"For what?" Damon asked.

"For thinking she was some long lost descendant of a witch clan, I don't know. All I know is she thought she had these powers and would go up to people on the streets freaking them out back in the day." Her voice was low as she told the story. A few times Caroline glanced over Damon's shoulder at the girl. "She lost her job because of it. She went completely nuts and was taken away."

"And now she's back?" He nodded his head. All this information made him want a drink to help process it. Instead he tried to push the craving away. "Is she better?"

"She must be or she's on some medication." Caroline responded. "They don't let people out after standing on a table in the middle of the restaurant holding a knife chanting some crazy shit and then claiming not to remember any of it."

From a distance all he saw was an innocent, shy girl, but now he worried he was a poor judge of character. Caroline had a knack for embellishing any situation though. Maybe this Bon Bon girl wasn't as Looney Tunes as she made her out to be. However, it didn't explain why Elena was connected to her.

"So explain to me why Elena talked to her and was weird about this lunatic bitch?" He asked curiously.

"Every Thursday she came into Elena's work for lunch. She sit at the same table, order the same thing, at least that's what Elena told me." She explained. "The good hearted person Elena was felt bad for her and would sit and talk to her if it wasn't busy."

Elena did have a soft spot for the disturbed and weak. He would know, he was one of them. It didn't occur to him she did it so often though.

"Bless her heart." Caroline sighed. "I guess Bon Bon, I mean Bonnie would tell her about her so called powers and spells. Elena would come home sometimes telling me all of this. I swear she started to get wrapped up in that crazy bitch's banter."

"Elena believing in that shit?" Damon remarked with disgust.

"Even I agree that sounds a little far fetched, Care." Stefan added.

A small grin broke upon her face at the mention of her nickname. Damon rolled his eyes at the two of them sharing their moment. This was no time for flirting. What she was telling him did not sound like Elena at all. She was realistic. What this girl apparently believed she could do and tried to do was the opposite of Elena. However, what bothered him the most about all of this was finding out this bit of information now. For as long as he knew Elena there were no secrets between them. She had made that clear. Now he was wondering what else she had kept from him.

"When did this girl go into the psych ward again?" He tried to piece it all together.

"A while ago." She answered. "Apparently she's calmed down her act, but still is crazy as ever. Don't worry Elena played nice with her post-ward. The last time I saw that crazy bitch was a few years back right before you guys started dating."

A distant memory was floating back. Even under the influence he did recall a time when he had seen this mystery, crazy girl before.

"I'm surprised Elena never told you about her." Caroline mentioned. "Every Thursday after her shift she tell me about what crazy stories that girl shared with her. I mean maybe she did and you just don't remember considering you were drunk half the time."

And her snarky comments about his past and his addiction were back. Locking his jaw and biting his tongue from saying something he would regret and have to apologize for later, Damon glared at her. So what if his memory was a little hazy?

"Watch it blondie," Damon threatened. "We don't want to ruin your make up anymore than it already is."

Touching her face, Caroline pouted and grabbed for Stefan's wine. She downed it quickly and her cheeks flushed a soft pink. His initial buzz from early was completely gone. Now he was as sober as it got and he hated it. In this moment he envied Caroline as she tried to wash away her feelings with booze.

"Like you said, I'm sure she was just humoring the poor girl." Damon leaned back in his chair. "I highly doubt she actually believed any of that shit."

"I don't know." Caroline shook her head. "She sort of got defensive a few times with me about her. It was weird, but then again Elena was never one to walk away from a damaged soul."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to understand the girl wasn't the only damaged soul she was referring to. Talking to Caroline was like a never ending roller coaster. One moment she could be civil and the next she was out for blood. Any chance she got to jab him verbally she made it happened.

Feeling annoyed, he stood up abruptly. "I've had enough of this story time. If you'll excuse me, this damaged soul needs to use the bathroom." Damon stated. Stefan pushed out his chair looking stern and ready to pounce. "Calm down baby bro, you searched me remember? No forbidden substance is on me. Now, if you'll excuse me and please try to refrain from speaking too highly of me while I'm gone."

As he made his way to the back of the bistro, he glanced over at Bonnie, Bon Bon, or crazy train as he liked to think of her. With her long hair was in her face, she was mumbling something. It wasn't loud enough to understand, but enough to confirm what Caroline had spoke of was true. Talking to yourself in public? That deserved a check mark for crazy.

Once out of sight, he dashed into the men's room and felt the anger from before rush through him. Despite their little conversation, he was still annoyed by the scene of events before it. He had to face reality now. Stefan knew. Caroline knew. It would only take time for Alaric to know of his bad choices too.

Kicking the bathroom stall, he grunted. If they all knew, especially Alaric meant he would be sent straight back to meetings and coaching. He wanted none of that. Just the thought it made his skin itch. Three years of sobriety should not result in this, but it was. Caroline was right. He was a damaged soul, so poorly damaged that the scars of his past were deeper than any cut he could imagine. A constant reminder of the fuck up he was. He couldn't do this all over again. However, the stress of it all only made him want to do the one thing he needed to stop. He was in dilemma.

Behind him he heard the bathroom door open. It was most likely Stefan checking up on him making sure he wasn't being too destructive or sneaking bottles of wine. Damon balled his hands into fist ready to scream at him. He didn't need to be followed. All he wanted was a brief moment alone to blow off some steam from this messy day. As he turned, his chest heaved and his breath was caught in his throat. Her head was bowed and she stood motionless staring at him with the hint of crazy in her eye.

"You can't be in here." He told her.

No response, but she titled her head up. He was liking the term 'crazy train' a whole lot better than the street name, Bon Bon she had gained.

"Look I don't want any trouble." Damon held up his hands.

"You weren't suppose to mess up." She uttered.

"What?" He asked panicked.

"She gave everything, her life." The girl, Bonnie stated. Her head twitched the side. "You have to stop."

"I don't know you, but I think you should leave." Damon advised her.

"You're better than this." She said taking a step closer. "You know you are Damon."

For a small girl, he felt smaller compared to her. She was backing him into a corner as she approached him. After every thing he had learned about her, he feared to be alone with her in this bathroom. Why had she followed him in and how did she know his name?

"All she ever wanted was for you to get better, and this," her voice was shrill. Something glowed in her eyes. "This is how you repay her? How you handle things?"

"Get the fuck away from me." He cursed.

"How could such a pure heart love such a dark one?" She asked bitterly. The volume of her voice grew. "You have no idea what she did for you. No idea!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you're crazy." Damon replied trying to find away out without too much harm done.

A few heavy steps and she was almost breathing down his neck. Her finger was pointed at him and her eyes were bigger than the moon. "Yes you do! Elena wouldn't have wanted you like this again. You're hurting her." She snarled. "You have to stop!"


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Regular updates are back! Sorry about not updating last Sunday. I'll try my very best to make sure to keep them coming each Sunday, but no promises. Sometimes life just gets in the way. I did post Chapter 11 this past Thursday in case anyone missed it. I wanted to at least post something for you guys since I didn't on my usual day. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. A flashback does happen and even though it's not nearly as good as the previous one, it does hold a purpose. Leave me your review. Thanks for reading and thank you so much for the wonderful feedback on the last chapter. I'm glad you guys enjoyed the introduction of the twist.**

* * *

_Fifty Shades of Salvatore Fanfic News!_

**As posted before, Fifty Shades Immortal, the final installment of the FSOS series comes out this month. It was probably late this month seeing as I'm working on this story and Black Out. I'll be posting spoilers and exclusive content all throughout the month of November leading up to the release day, which still needs to be decided. Follow at MystFallsFanfic and FSOSfansite on Twitter for more information.**

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CHAPTER 12.

With his back against the wall, he didn't know what to expect from this tiny crazed brunette. For all he knew with anger she possessed and directed at him, she could whip out a knife like she had before from Caroline's story and become an even worse threat. He had to do something and fast.

"I'm calling the police." Damon barely spoke as he reached for his phone.

Panic twinkled in her eyes and she reached out to him. "No! I can help you." She pleaded.

Help him? Two seconds ago she was making it clear she was on the verge of snapping into an emotional rage for no apparent reason. The claims she spat were shouted with hostility. Someone who spoke like that did not sound like a person of remorse or willing to lend a helping hand. This bitch really was crazy.

The bathroom door swung open violently. Stefan gawked at the sight of the two of them and recognized him pleading for help upon his face. Damon's heart was racing fast and he hadn't realized it until now. Their voices must have carried out into the bistro alarming Stefan. His observation skills were quite strong lately.

Just to make matters even tenser, Caroline flew around the corner standing behind him appearing shocked.

"Please, I can help." The girl whispered. "Let me help you."

"Stefan." He called out.

Entering the bathroom, his brother stormed in and grabbed the girl by the arm. She swung around nearly hitting him. For a moment he was scared they were all in danger. Who knew what she was capable of? He didn't want to find out.

"Don't touch me." She shrieked. Looking back at him, she frowned. "Just let me..."

Finally putting an end to her banter, Caroline barged in. She stood between them and shouted, "Leave! Or I'll make sure you end up back in that loony bin." She threatened. "Go!"

Never in a million years did he expect Caroline Forbes to defend him or come to his rescue. He observed the horror sweeping the girls face at the mention of her mental state. It was obvious she feared the psych ward she once inhabited and did not wish to return to it. If she wasn't careful all it would take it one phone call and she could be shipped back.

"I'm sorry." She apologized softly and ran out.

Comprehending what had just happened, Damon let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you okay?" Caroline asked spinning around to face him.

What kind of question was that? Of course he wasn't okay. A deranged pyscho had just followed him into the bathroom claiming a whole bunch of stuff that was almost true. She knew his name and who Elena was. She knew they were connected. She knew he was messing up. How in the hell did she know any of it?

"I'm fine physically. Mentally…" Damon paused. "That bitch is a fucking crazy train."

"Why the hell did she even follow you in here?" Stefan asked.

"I don't know! I came in here to blow off some steam and the next thing I know she is in here talking about…" He rambled and cut his thought short. Where his explanation for the situation was headed would reveal what the girl was saying and he wasn't sure if he was willing to share that knowledge.

His body ached for the substance that would relieve the tenseness in his muscles and drown away the mixed emotions he was conjuring. However, it would be conflicting with his efforts. He was really trying and failing like a repeated cycle, but his addiction was just too strong. Revisiting it was the accelerator to all this nonsense again. A part of him wished he had never walked into the bar on the outskirts of town, but another part of him felt reborn into the truth of who he really was.

"It doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that bitch is crazy and she's gone." Damon stated with his stare flickering on Caroline. She looked wary and suspicious of his speech. He would see her contemplating the whole situation through her head, trying to figure it all out.

"Damon…" Stefan began.

Exhaling a low growl, Damon tried not to erupt. "Are we done? Because I have to get back to the office." He snapped. The past hour meant to be spent indulging in his final day of drinking, but instead it had turned into a complete mess. His eyes fell back on Caroline. All of this pointed back to her.

"What?" She asked.

As if she were trying to play the innocent card, Damon knew she was the catalyst to everything that had occurred in the past hour. If she hadn't shown up, he would have never known who Bonnie or Bon Bon was in the first place. He could have gone on living without knowing the minor details of Elena's need to comfort the insane. He could have never known she was involved with the girl he had mistakenly run into outside the bistro. He could have just gone on, but instead now he was freaked out and disturbed by it all. Damon hated to admit, but he wanted to know more.

"Thanks for saving my ass." Damon replied to her. It was a bitter thank you, not a grateful one. He was ready to push pass her and his brother before he felt his arm being caught in the grasp of Stefan's hand. "Brother, I strongly recommend you let go of me before you end up with a black eye." He threatened.

"I don't care if you leave, but I meant what I said earlier back at your office." Stefan said heatedly. "You're done with drinking away the pain. I'm coming over after work and we are clearing out your place of any liquor. Got it?"

"Yea." Damon responded rolling his eyes and yanked his arm away.

Not bothering to be courteous, he swiped Caroline's shoulder as he made his way out of the bathroom. His eyes scanned the restaurant for the girl, but she was nowhere to be seen. She had done exactly as Caroline had asked. Probably too scared of what might happen, she had made a bee line for the farthest place possible. Something inside of him understood how she felt though, not wanting to be stripped of what you are even if you can't help it. He loathed the fact he could even relate to someone so insane.

Busting out the doors of the restaurant, he marched his way back in the direction of his office building. What he wanted was to march in the opposite direction and go home. He wanted to drink every last drop of what was left there before he couldn't. Today was his final day. Damon knew exactly what tomorrow held. Sobriety: Day 1 with the side of AA. He wasn't stupid to think Alaric wasn't already informed.

"Damon." He heard his name being said from behind him.

"Go away, Caroline." Damon barked over his shoulder and stumbled when he didn't see her, but someone else. It was the girl. She was peaking out from behind a building in an alleyway. He swore he had just heard Caroline's voice, but was being betrayed. Panic set in again at the sight of the petite brunette. "What the fuck do you want?"

Her eyes constantly darted around.

"Please, let me help you." Her small voice said once more.

"I don't want your help." He hissed. "Especially from a crazy person like you."

Turning on his heel, he heard soft thuds on the pavement behind him. Her hand brushed against his back. "Wait," she called out. Damon spun around towering over her. On the outside he appeared tough and large. On the inside though, he was horrified not by what she could do, but by what she could say.

"She didn't want for this to happen." She said in rushed voice. "But it was the only way and you're messing it all up."

"What?" Damon asked confused.

"I know it doesn't make sense, but let me try to explain." She desperately requested.

"I…" He began. What he wanted was to get away from her, but he wanted an explanation too. His head was spinning. "Explain what?"

"Not here. Too many people." Her voice dropped.

The blaring of police sirens turned down the street and he naturally looked to see where the cars were going. In the brief instance, he saw out of the corner of his eye her darting around the alleyway corner. A quick flash of a similar scene and familiar emotions made him remember. What Caroline spoke of was indeed true. He had seen Elena talking to the girl, Bonnie before at her work. Now it made sense.

* * *

_An empty flask jiggled in his coat pocket as he walked down the sidewalk. It was just past five o'clock and businessmen and women were crowding the streets. Most were going home to their wives or husbands and ready to sit down to a nice dinner, while he was ready to go to the nearest bar and drink until his liver hurt. Feeling comfortably numb at this hour of the day was earlier than expected, but Damon still welcomed it with open arms._

_His stare flashed up to the sign reading, _Graham Avenue Bar and Grill. _He knew better than to stumble his way in with the chance of seeing _her, _but he did it anyway. As he recalled, one of her fellow co-workers once told him she only worked day shifts and judging by the time he had a good chance of not running into her. The sober thoughts flooding his mind told him to turn around, but all his brain could process was getting another drink in him pronto._

_The place had few people in it. A red head was behind the bar and he sighed. She wasn't working after all just like he had thought. A part of him was relieved, but another part was disappointed. _

_Since the night of the heated dancing and almost kiss, he hadn't seen her. It had been weeks and he figured her guilty conscious wanted to steer clear of him. His mind replayed the scene over and over again each night before he fell asleep leaving him with a raging boner he had to fix. Every night he played out the scene differently erasing her friend's attempt to ruin the moment. He could still feel her energy and he wished he didn't. _

_"Damon?" _

_The daydream he had drifted off into had left him startled as he saw her out of the corner of his eye. During all of his steamy thoughts, he had managed to find his way over to the bar and sit down. He turned in his seat to get a good look at her. Even with her hair thrown into a messy bun and wearing sweat pants and jacket over her work uniform she still looked stunning._

_"Hello, little miss I have a boyfriend." He smirked quickly and wiggled his eyebrows._

_"If you came here to see me and apologize about…" Elena began._

_"Oh no, I didn't come here to see you." Damon interrupted. "I came here because it was on my way home and I'm hungry and thirsty." He picked up the menu. "And apologize? What for?"_

_Elena leaned on the chair next to him and looked over her shoulder. "For you know, that night." She whispered. "When we danced."_

_"_That night. _Now why would I need to apologize for that?" He asked sarcastically. _

_Resting his elbow on the counter, heheld his head in his hand staring at her. It bothered him to think she wanted an apology for the night they danced. The last time he checked she had been the one getting more lost in the moment than he had. She had been the one who started the initial close dancing in the first place._

_"Because I have a boyfriend and you…you seduced me." Elena said quietly in a hushed tone._

_Shaking his head, he found humor in her reasoning for why he needed to apologize. "I didn't do anything. All I asked was for you to have fun and you did the rest my dear, so no I'm not going to apologize for what I did." Damon stated. "If anything you owe me one."_

_"Me?" She asked._

_"Yes. Thanks to you storming off, I got the lovely pleasure of dealing with your friend and her hand across my cheek." He informed her._

_Elena looked over her shoulder once more and took the seat next to him. She leaned in and talked in a low voice for only him to hear._

_"I'm sorry about Caroline, but I'm not sorry that she interrupted us. I do have a boyfriend, Damon." Elena explained. "I don't need to be getting all steamy on the dance floor with another guy."_

_"But you had fun. Right?" Damon inquired._

_"That's not the point." Elena replied._

_"That was the whole point." He added. _

_"What do you want me to say? That I had fun dancing with you." She said. He saw her trembling and fighting something internally. It was those struggles indicating to him she was forcing the truth of how she truly felt about that night deep down. Elena wasn't about to admit any of it and he knew that. It left him sour._

_"All I want you to say is you had fun. You had fun with a friend." Damon tipped his head in her direction._

_"So were friends now?" Elena perked up._

_In all honesty, he didn't know what he was saying. The whole 'friends' thing just sort of slipped out. It was the liquor speaking for him, while his conscious lingered making sure he didn't make a complete ass out of himself within her presence. He wasn't prepared to see her, but now that he had, he wasn't complaining._

_"I like for us to be." He mentioned. What he really wanted was so much more than a friendship with her. _

_Silence came from her end upon his request. The idea of a friendship with him was processing through her mind and he saw her contemplating whether to agree or not. He hated to think she would turn him down again, but it was a regular occurrence with her. The night they had dance had been the first stray from following the rules. _

_"On one condition." Elena spoke up. "If you want to be my friend, you have to stop with the flirty little comments and that eye thing you do."_

_"What eye thing?" Damon asked lifting his brows._

_The smile radiating off her face indicated exactly what she meant and he knew it too. He was relieved she was willing to at least befriend him instead of push him away. She had every right to, but something was drawing them together. _

_"I'm serious." She demanded of him. _

_"I'll try my best." He winked._

_Shifting in his seat, a loud clank of something hitting the floor made them both bow their heads looking down. The flask he had tucked away in his pocket had fallen out. Elena bent down to pick it up. With his initials inscribed on the metal, it was hard to deny it belonged to him. She handed it back and he put it back securely in his pocket._

_"Have you been drinking?" Elena questioned him._

_Using his thumb and his index finger, he motioned he had been a little. Something changed in her mood at the switch of the conversation. He made notes before when it came to alcohol she did very little to none consuming it. Maybe she wasn't a drinker. It was a rare breed to find these days amongst the population of this city._

_"Weren't you just at work?" She assumed by his attire._

_"I needed something to take the edge off of a stressful day." He smirked._

_Just by observation he noticed she wasn't fond of learning he had been drinking on the job. If she weren't so damn hot, he would have mistaken her for a prude. It was hard for her to mask the concern and disgust she had when it came to the topic of alcohol even though she worked at place that served it. _

_"That's not good." Elena stated._

_The desire to tell her off about what he did was boiling within, but he never managed to find a nice way to say it. Thankfully her attention was directed elsewhere and he inhaled slowly to calm down. When it came to his liquor and consumption, he hated being told how to go about it. He especially didn't want to hear it from her out of all people. _

_"Um, would you excuse me for a second?" Elena set her bag down on the chair where she had been sitting and walked over to a table in the far back corner. While she departed he order himself a drink and a strong one at that. No one would tell him what to do when it came to his favorite past time._

_Glancing over at the table, he saw her take a seat across from a petite girl, who seemed shy. A smile spread across her face and her pin straight brunette hair bounced. They talked and he knew not to stare, but he couldn't help it. As they conversed, he watched as both their expressions changed. The girl dropped her smile and reached out for Elena's hand. Worry set in on Elena's beautiful face and she looked over at him briefly causing him to look away abruptly. Her mouth moved furiously and she tried to pull her hand away, but the mystery girl continued to grasp it. For a second, Damon felt the urge to barge over and make sure every thing was okay before he was denied the chance._

_"Elena!" The booming voice of male came through the restaurant. All heads turned to the stocky man in the doorway to the kitchen. Damon recognized him as the douche bag she called her boyfriend. Finally pulling her hand away, she got up from the table and hurried over. Pure anger smothered his flawless face and he had his hands on his hips. He couldn't hear what they were arguing about, but he saw her boyfriend's eyes find their way to him._

_Shit. He had a funny feeling this was about him. Maybe someone overheard their conversation or someone had seen them that night. Whatever it was, he smelled trouble. _

_Matt's hand flew up to her shoulder and grabbed it hard. Elena tossed her body backwards, but he only held on to her shoulder tighter. After just watching her struggle with some random girl who wouldn't let go of her, he wasn't about to sit here and watch it happen all over again in the hands of her boyfriend. _

_Getting up from his seat, Damon walked over to them. "Is there a problem here?" He asked staring at Matt and standing behind Elena._

_"I'm fine, Damon. Just go sit back down." Elena insisted._

_"You need to stay the hell away from my girlfriend." Matt growled and pulled Elena into him._

_"Your girlfriend and I are friends." Damon replied. _

_"Not a chance in hell you are." He stepped forward. "You don't think I know what you're doing."_

_"And what's that?" His tone firmed. "Because all I see is you treating her like a piece of property."_

_Completely letting go of Elena, Matt took another step toward him and puffing his chest. Damon balled his hands into fists prepared to fight. For a girl that wasn't even his, he was ready to defend her. From the little interaction he had seen between them, he knew Elena deserved so much better._

_"What the fuck did you say to me?" Matt spat._

_"Matt stop, please." Elena begged._

_"She doesn't deserve you." Damon said. "You're nothing more than a fucking insecure meat head that probably is cheating on her anyways. Am I right?"_

_He should have saw it coming, but it still took him by surprise. Matt's fist wailed at his face and he stumbled backwards a few steps before he regained his balance. Covering his eye, it took every ounce of him not to fight back. The alcohol, however, encouraged otherwise. Damon swung hard and hit his cheek. The gasps of Elena crying for them to stop could be heard, but they were lost in the zone of manliness. They were both fighting over the same thing for different reasons. _

_A pair of strong arms grabbed a hold of him and he was being removed from the situation. The same was happening to Matt too._

_"Get the fuck out of my bar and don't come back! You hear me!" Matt screamed. _

_Spitting on the floor, Damon was forced through the doors of the establishment and thrown out on to the sidewalk. The pain in his eye pulsed and he knew he needed to ice it as soon as he got home along with downing a bottle of the best scotch he could afford. How the hell was he going to explain this to his boss when he went into work the next day? _

_"Are you okay? Oh my God." Elena asked and gasped at the sight of his swollen eye._

_"I'll be fine." He uttered pacing back and forth. Why the fuck did she come out here? This was only going to make matters worse. Shouldn't she be back in there with her asshole of boyfriend? "Go back inside."_

_"I just wanted to make sure you're okay and apologize for what Matt did to you." Her voice shook. _

_So much anger was still built up inside of him. He really didn't want to take it out on her, but he knew it he couldn't hold it back either. Staring at her, he saw her shrink. This was her fault, yet he didn't want to blame her either. What he should have done was ignore the whole thing. He should have just let them hash it out, but he couldn't. He couldn't stand seeing her be treated that way. Elena did not deserve to be treated like she was property or anything less. Why couldn't she understand that?_

_"As your new friend, here is some advice." Damon scorned her. "Get a new boyfriend."_

_The small girl from before snuck past them thinking she was going unseen, but he saw her. Elena appeared distraught and stunned by his comment while she too noticed the girl leave. She was the least of his concerns. _

_Not letting Elena say another word to him, he marched off in the opposite direction and left her there to think about what he said._

* * *

The fading noises of the sirens drifted off in the distance. He looked down the alleyway, but Bonnie was gone. Not entirely sure what she had meant earlier, it left him with a million questions. It was wise to ignore the rants of someone declared insane, but maybe she wasn't as crazy as everyone thought. She knew something about Elena and he wanted to find out.


End file.
